CULTURE

A French Restaurant Sends You Home With a Free, Trashy Romance Novel

These are old-school smut in the all but extinct mass-market format.

Because a French restaurant in St. Johns sends you home with a free, trashy romance novel. Bar Nouveau (Kelsey Curtis)

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Bar Nouveau, tucked away just off Lombard Street in St. Johns, is shockingly unpretentious for how chic it is. Yes, reservations are required (a notion that, not so long ago, would have been unthinkable anywhere in Portland, let alone St. Johns); yes, entrees run between $20 and $40, making it a meal many of us not only have to schedule, but budget for. But the waitstaff wears cheerful, Rosie the Riveter-style bandannas, and the food—while, well, fancy—is accessible, including perfectly crusty cloverleaf rolls with cultured butter and absolutely gorgeous olives drizzled with citrus juice, olive oil and herbs. The combination of elevated food and friendly vibes feels like a deliberate nod to Julia Child, whose cookbooks are on conspicuous display on the restaurant’s bookshelf.

Because a French restaurant in St. Johns sends you home with a free, trashy romance novel. Bar Nouveau (Kelsey Curtis)

Speaking of bookshelves, though: The meal’s finish is where those twin vibes of upscale and down to earth really come together. If you order the Happy Ending from Bar Nouveau’s dessert menu, you get a glass of a dessert wine or digestif, a small plate of elegant bonbons and a trashy romance novel. Now, I’m well aware that romance as a genre has improved and diversified from the years when some of us were sneaking copies of older relatives’ paperbacks; today’s romance authors and characters are more diverse, and the storylines dramatically less hetero in focus (plus, sometimes there’s hockey). In this context, however, when I say “trashy,” I mean it; these are old-school smut in the all but extinct mass-market format.

It’s a little offering that doesn’t just embody Bar Nouveau’s vibe, but a little bit of Portland’s 2026. Yes, we’ve gentrified a bit. But we’ve still got our sexy, smutty, low-brow side—and we love that too.

Christen McCurdy

Christen McCurdy is a Portland-based journalist who covers arts and culture for Willamette Week. At least 20% of her verbal output is Simpsons quotes from the ‘90s.

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