Why Does It Smell Like Rotten Asshole In Several of These Lofty Gentrified Areas?

I’ve recently been spending more time in inner Southeast Portland and I am wondering: Why does it smell like rotten asshole in several of these lofty gentrified areas? —Aggravated by Sewer Scents

I receive some version of this question at least once every summer, and—full disclosure—I’ve already done one column on the subject. That said, a lot of water (and some less savory material) has passed under the bridge since that 2015 piece, so I think it’s time for a number two.

As you may recall, Portland, like many other oldish cities, has a combined sewer system: Stormwater and home waste flow through the same pipes. (The term of art for home waste is “sanitary sewage.” I bet most people wouldn’t think it was very sanitary if you dumped a bucket of it down their pants, but whatever.)

It’s easy to get judgy about our ancestors’ decision to build a combined system, but remember that the previous methods for disposing of sewage were (a) dumping it in the street, (b) paying a guy to dump it just outside of town, or (c) dumping it in a big pit behind your house and hoping you died before the pit filled up. The new sewer probably seemed like a miracle.

Originally, the sewage drained, untreated, directly into the river. Then the environment was invented, and we built treatment plants: Now raw sewage would only drain into the river when it rained! Finally, we built the Big Pipe, and the problem of raw sewage regularly going into the river was largely solved.

However, the system is still combined: If you follow a storm drain far enough underground, you’ll eventually find Mr. Hanky in a clown suit saying, “Down here, we all float,” in a creepy voice. Most of the time the stercoraceous matter is well diluted by rainwater, but in the dry summer months the mix becomes more concentrated, and some vapors find their way up to street level.

This has become (very slightly) more likely since 2015. Bioswales, those vegetation-filled pits that now line our streets, reduce the amount of stormwater entering the system, so in theory the poo quotient should be a bit higher now. The upside, however, is that sewage overflows are even less likely, which should be well worth a little olfactory annoyance. Besides, have you ever been to New York? Real cities stink. Consider the smell a badge of civic pride.

Questions? Send them to dr.know@wweek.com.