Dr. Know: Why don't Portland businesses run their ceiling fans in the correct direction in the winter?

I've tried to persuade countless business owners that their ceiling fans are going in the wrong direction. They all say, "It's blowing the hot air down." Is ignorantly suffering through another lousy winter just the way things are done in Portland? —A Cold Customer

I'd love to answer your question, but I'm a little freaked out right now. Apparently Mitt Romney is considering running for president again.

I can't help but imagine Mitt standing outside America's window holding a boombox over his head, serenading the nation with Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes" until we change our minds. (It sounds cute, until you realize this is the reason God invented restraining orders.)

Now, are we going to ignorantly suffer through another winter? I don't know how long you've lived in Portland, Customer, but rest assured, ignorant suffering is not our strong suit. We like our suffering to be excruciatingly well-informed, ideally with its own website and a federally funded interpretive center.

Thus, it's with a heavy heart that I must inform you that you're right. Don't get a big head; even a blind hog finds an acorn once in a while. Still, it's true: Ceiling fans should provide updraft, not downdraft, in wintertime.

Ceiling fans do two things: first, they mix up the air in the room so it's all the same temperature, and second, they create wind chill on human skin.

As even the densest Nelson Muntz impersonator recalls from high school, heat rises. In the winter, we want the warm air up by the ceiling distributed throughout the room.

The ceiling fan will do this regardless of which direction it's turning. However, if it's blowing down, it'll also wind-chill any person in its path, which is pretty pointless—unless, you know, it's some whiny bastard you wish would stop coming into your shop.

QUESTIONS? Send them to dr.know@wweek.com

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