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We got our hands on the first 25 numbered bottlings, roughly spanning the years 1977 to '79. To toast our annual Beer Guide, we decided to sample all 25 to see how they've held up.
There was only a little vomit—here's a transcription of our tasting, from newest to oldest.
25
"It's got a weird, watery limeness that I can't put my finger on, like a really old Bud Light Lime."
24
"This one's a little sweeter. I am surprised how different these two are, actually."
"It's a little better balanced, like a horribly old Oktoberfest."
23
"This one actually smells like beer, and it has something that might, a long time ago, have been a bubble."
"It smells kind of like a rye beer, and it tastes like a wet cornfield."
22
"It's like turpentine. I don't understand why this one is so much worse."
"This one is by far the grossest smelling. Taylor Swift was wrong: 22 is horrible, and it feels horrible in my stomach, too."
21
"Tastes kinda like a Rogue beer."
"You're right, this tastes like it was once good."
20
"This is unnaturally bubbly. Also, I am starting to worry about my stomach."
"It does have several bubbles. And it seems darker than the others."
"This one tastes like Pixy Stix that have been dissolved in water and left outside for a couple weeks."
"Like sweet, watery urine."
18
"This is what a rotten raisin would taste like."
"How is that possible? Raisins don't really rot..."
"To me, it tastes leather-boot-filtered."
17
"This tastes like a flat regular beer, just flat."
"I feel like I am drinking High Life, just very oxidized."
16
"It's creepily soft, like a wet Muppet."
"It tastes like weird off-brand toffee you'd get from Grandma."
15
"It tastes like licking on a ear of corn. Not eating it, just licking it."
"If they made milk out of corn, and then added water to that, this is what I think that would taste like."
14
"Robust, but in a foreboding sort of way."
"It tastes like the kind of beer you would dig up on a beach if you got shipwrecked."
13 (Jan. 13, 1978)
"It tastes like drain water that just rolled over a dead squirrel."
"To me, it is more like the last little bit of the pool water left before it is drained completely."
"Do you ever drink out of a water bottle that you haven't washed in a long time?"
"Or smell a growler that you didn't clean very well and then put the cap back on for a few months?"
11
"It's like the pool of water that a cigar butt has been floating in."
"Like licking Ron Burgundy's mustache on a hot day."
"At this point, all I want to do is stop. I feel like this is making me sick."
"Ugh."
10
[Throws up in his mouth] "It's really getting hard."
"It tastes like shitty off-brand corn chips in water. At this point, it is hard to speak about these. All I can see is the finish line."
9
"Not as bad."
"Not as bad?"
8
"Why is this the most carbonated of them all? I am not sure if I like beer anymore."
"This tastes like that PIFF movie I reviewed, Corn Island."
7
"Let's power through this shit."
"This one is…still shitty beer water. I clearly hate myself."
6
"Oddly hard to get open. Those might be bubbles. I seriously almost vomited again."
"I can't even swallow this."
5
"This one is kinda good, maybe there is a hump here that I don't understand."
"No, this is not good. Six was uniquely bad, but this is still terrible."
"What was I thinking?"
"We've got to get out of here. Looking at these bottles is giving me a cold sweat."
4
"In hindsight, I actually agree that it is turning a corner. It's still gross, it's just..."
"Do you think they just cared more in the beginning?"
"I think whoever was storing these cared more in the beginning. Like, he stored them in a fridge for a while or something, then gave up. That man was an idiot. Who sells these for so cheap after keeping them for so long?"
3
"That tastes a little bit like vomit water, but that could just be my mouth."
"Please don't talk about vomit."
2
"This one actually has a fruity nose, almost Belgian."
"I honestly think they really did care about the first couple more than the rest."
1
"It still kinda tastes like malt water."
WWeek 2015
