Never Say Never Say Die Again

GOONIES HOUSE BROKEN: Never say "never say die" again. Astoria's famous Goonies House is closed to the public. After more than a decade of allowing up to 1,500 visitors a day to make pilgrimages to the house that played home to Mikey Walsh in The Goonies, house owners John and Sandi Preston have covered it in blue tarps and put up "no trespassing" signs, inviting passersby to enjoy a sheet of fake mustaches instead of their house. Sean Astin, who played Mikey Walsh, is apparently still protective of his former "home." In a Facebook post Aug. 21, Astin said, "It's my childhood home, sort of, and I'm telling everyone to BACK OFF!!!" He also called on Goonies director Richard Donner and producer Steven Spielberg to "help establish an appropriate tourist outpost in concert with the city."

CAKES FOR PAIN: Melissa and Aaron Klein, the Gresham couple who were fined $135,000 for unlawfully refusing to make a wedding cake for a Portland lesbian couple in 2013, is now sending cakes to LGBT organizations. Written on the cakes? "We really do love you." None of the 10 LGBT organizations was in Oregon, and all also received a copy of a film called Audacity, which purports to prove that homosexuality is by choice. "The cake noted that they love us," says Porter Gilbert, director of the LGBTQ Center of Long Beach (Calif.), which received a cake. "As an LGBTQ person, any sort of material that would suggest that LGBTQ identities are a choice and that we can take them on and off would be an absolute falsehood." Gilbert says the LGBTQ Center invited the Kleins "to see how we serve people in our community no matter who they are or who they love."

BARD LUCK: Last week was rough for Portland's Shakespeare scene. Ty Boice, co-founder and artistic director at Post5 Theatre, announced he's moving to Seattle after five years of leading the company because the theater scene up north is more lucrative. By October, Boice says he'll have new management set up at Post5 for a smooth transition. >> Portland Actors Ensemble's outdoor performance of The Taming of the Shrew in Gabriel Park bailed, too. The company canceled its shows last weekend because of forest fire smoke.

OLD PORTLAND (1985-2011): Earlier this month, we asked the people of Portland for the precise dates when Old Portland was born and when it died. Hundreds made their voices heard in an online poll, and the answer was clear. Old Portland was born on Jan. 2, 1985, the day legendary Mayor Bud "Expose Yourself to Art" Clark rode a bicycle to his inauguration. Old Portland finally died on Jan. 21, 2011, when Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein took to the airwaves to proclaim Portland "a city where young people go to retire."

WWeek 2015