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3356 SE Belmont St., 235-6041. Nightly.
CHEERS: Shotgun-shack layout.
JEERS: Too cool for school on the weekends.
The alternatively adult Aalto Lounge is rumored to be the bar where Jeff Foxworthy's big-city twin polished his "You might be a hipster...if your jeans are distressed but your couch isn't" jokes. The decor screams frenetic apathy. Beware girls wearing sweaters on their arms but not on their torsos. But the drinks are straightforward, the snacks are yummy and the art is damn cool. HAPPY HOUR, FOOD & DRINK SPECIALS, OUTDOOR SEATING, DJs, SMOKING LOUNGE, WI-FI. (ID)
Acme Food & Drink 1304 SE 8th Ave., 230-9020. Daily-nightly Tuesday-Saturday, every day starting June 4.
CHEERS: One of the best small venues in town, Acme books some cutting-edge local music, and it's often free.
JEERS: The chatty "be seen" crowd often overshadows the talent onstage to annoying effect.
Acme, located in the cozy concrete confines of the industrial district, is in a transitional phase. It still looks like a dentist's office on the outside, and like a hunting cabin on the inside, but this bar/club has recently shed its smoking, drinker-centric reputation to become a for-real family-friendly restaurant. With a smokehouse out back on its big-ass patio, there is far better fare to be had than the microwaveable delicacies the bar used to feature. happy hour, food & drink specials, outdoor seating, live music, pinball. (mb)
The Alibi 4024 N Interstate Ave., 287-5335. Daily-nightly.
CHEERS: Good place to lose your karaoke virginity.
JEERS: Lots of bad karaoke.
Like the drain for the North Portland bathtub, this tiki/karaoke bar attracts everyone from University of Portland students to Adidas shoe designers to residents of the many dive motels clustered around it on Interstate Avenue. It boasts a page long list of ultra-sweet rainbow drinks (if you think you can hold it down, a mai tai is $7) and an unexpectedly long menu that reads like a dictionary of low-brow American food. HAPPY HOUR, FOOD & DRINK SPECIALS, KARAOKE, VIDEO POKER, FREE BUFFETS, GAMES. (MPB)
Amnesia Brewing Company 832 N Beech St., 281-7708. Daily-nightly.
CHEERS: Addictive beers and a huge patio.
JEERS: Beware of dogs.
Something of a gutted-out tin barn, the rustic Amnesia Brewing Company offers a variety of great suds, including the ball-busting Double Whammy (8.4 percent alcohol). The large, open brewery doesn't seem to have any secrets—the brewing happens front and center—and the ultra-friendly hippie vibe extends throughout the place and onto the massive patio, where summertime food is grilled to order. Dogs are welcome, tables are plentiful, and the regulars and staff are extremely friendly and chatty. HAPPY HOUR, FOOD & DRINK SPECIALS, OUTDOOR SEATING, LIVE MUSIC, SMOKING AREA. (APK)
Andrea's Cha Cha Club 832 SE Grand Ave., 230-1166. Nightly Wednesday-Saturday.
CHEERS: It's authentic. As in real Cubans dancing a real-life cha-cha.
JEERS: It's underneath the Grand, a karaoke bar catering to bachelorette parties and birthday shindigs. Enough said.
If you're looking for a real salsa scene, try this cha-cha-fied night spot. For 10 clams, you'll get an hour lesson, a free drink and an authentic Latino experience in this tiny, sweaty dance club. Good news for you hip-swivelin' Shakira lovers: Come July 1, Andrea's will expand to twice its size and remain open until 4 am. But if you go, don't expect to be sitting on your ass as an observer. On the club's legendary jam-packed Thursday nights, with salsa band Cubaneo shaking its stuff, there's no way your hips can stay still—even if you're Whitey McWhiterson. DRINK SPECIALS, LIVE MUSIC, DJ, DANCE LESSONS. (LS)
Apotheke 1314 NW Glisan St., 241-7866. Nightly.
CHEERS: Beats everything else in the Pearl: good music.
JEERS: Tends toward desolation.
Big, white and empty. Have one drink at this Pearl District pearl, or have 10 (if you can afford it—wells are 6 bucks), and those first three impressions probably aren't changing. Apotheke's a strange bi-level bastion of minimalist cool that could well grow to be the West side's answer to Holocene, given its hosting regular soundscape and A/V events. While the service is generally friendly, the sparse patronage tends toward the Wieden & Kennedy/Euro set. Mingle at your own risk. But don't ask for mixers for your drinks. Committed to a baffling array of herbal elixirs, they don't have them. dj, live music, smoke-free. (MPB)
Ararat 111 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 235-5526. Nightly Friday-Sunday.
CHEERS: Tha 'Rat's crappy Eastern Euro techno beats and scuffed Saturday Night Fever-style light-up dance floor spawn moves rarely seen on this side of the Atlantic.
JEERS: The garbled flurry of Slavic shit-talk apt to erupt when one enters the ladies' room.[/event]
This is not Portland. This is a Russian wedding reception airlifted to the foot of the Burnside Bridge. And it's fucking amazing. Heavily tanned, big-haired women of indeterminate age sporting sparkly mesh tops sip white wine in this Russian-Armenian restaurant's dining room-cum-dance club while a gaggle of square-shouldered men straight outta mob central casting suck down Baltika lagers and ogle the belly dancer from the doorway of the tiny, adjoining bar. Luckily, interlopers (a.k.a. you) are tolerated, if not treated with the same eye-rolling kindness as Americans on a European holiday. Within six minutes of entering, expect to have acquired a tipsy tour guide, a shot of house vodka and an invitation to disco. Remember, you're the tourist here. So represent your country well, comrade. DJs, OUTDOOR SEATING. (KC)
Ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash St., 226-0430. Daily-nightly.
CHEERS: Rocks like a mutha.
JEERS: We don't need no stinkin' TV here.
During the day, this rough-around-the-edges establishment feels like a cozy neighborhood bar. At night, however, it roars to life with an impressively consistent onslaught of local bands that can almost rattle the bare brick walls. It provides the basic pub grub, burgers and deep-fried grease bombs, as well as a decent selection of beer on tap. And though the quality of open-mic talent on Monday nights may sometimes be questioned, it never fails to entertain. HAPPY HOUR, OUTDOOR SEATING, PINBALL, VIDEO POKER, TV, JUKEBOX, OPEN MIC. (JL)
Aura 1022 W Burnside St., 597-2872. Nightly Tuesday-Saturday.
CHEERS: A little bit of South Beach on West Burnside.
JEERS: An unfortunate glut of the post-frat crowd.
Leather coats, girls in tight jeans and tiny handbags—Aura's distinctly see-or-be-seen club vibe is possibly the closest thing Portland has to a fully decked-out Big City nightclub. If you want to be seen, leave that tattered Modest Mouse T-shirt at home and be prepared to plop down some cash for its wide variety of mixed drinks or bizarre-ish, multitiered puu-puu platters. As for seeing, trust us, you will see: The club's mazelike collection of multilevel dance spots boasts see-through materials. HAPPY HOUR, FOOD SPECIALS, OUTDOOR SEATING, DJ, SMOKE-FREE & SMOKING LOUNGE. (KS)
B-Side 632 E Burnside St., 233-3113. Daily-nightly.
CHEERS: Service-industry types get their own clubhouse.
JEERS: The next morning's gonna hurt.
Maybe it's the crocheted wall hanging reading, "Fuck You in the Face" behind the B-Side's bar, the Thirty Ought Six in the jukebox, or the fridge full of delicious Hamm's, but this former Alcoholics Anonymous meeting hall has latched its jaw onto our livers like a drooling wolf from hangover hell. Within two beers you will meet the entire staff and ownership: If Tanya (of Basement Pub fame) is behind the bar, chances are Joel (of Club 21 fame) is on the other side drinking—and, of course, vice versa. GAMES, JUKEBOX, SMOKING, WI-FI. (MPB)
Balcony 1507 SE 39th Ave., 233-7100. Daily-nightly.
CHEERS: Understated, classic atmosphere.
JEERS: Patrons must be able to tolerate jam bands.
Walking into the brand-new Balcony is confusing. First you see the spare decor and glowing bar, planting hope that the building's new owners have de-hippified the former bong shop. Then you hear the Grateful Dead on the stereo. On the bright side, the approachable, gregarious bar staff whip up some delicious concoctions, like a sarsaparilla-vodka combo ($3) and juicy kamikazes ($5). Grab some grub or suds here before or after a show at the neighboring Hawthorne Theatre. HAPPY HOUR, KARAOKE, MOVIES, OPEN MIC. (SC)
Bar Mestizo at Andina 1314 NW Glisan St., 228-9535. Daily-nightly.
CHEERS: Drool-worthy raw bar.
JEERS: Drooling patrons (both the elderly and skirt-chasing kind).
This busy, earth-toned cantina for moneyed Pearlites shares the same passion for Peruvian flavors as its mother restaurant, Andina. Suck down a proper pisco sour ($8), all frothy and tinged with bitters, and a ruby glass of sangria ($5, $14 per pitcher) or sample its lesser-known "novoandino" cocktails, featuring everything from banana-infused rum and almond milk to puckery tamarind nectar. Zingy seafood cebiches ($12) from Andina's laundry list of tapas beckon, but eating here is hell on the wallet unless you can hit happy hour ($5 cocktails and $2 select nibbles from 4 to 6 pm daily). Luckily, that gent in the Panama hat plucking out lilting ballads on the acoustic guitar is 100 percent free. Psst: This place gets packed quickly; get yer name on the bar table wait list and then head downstairs to the cavelike Pearl Wine Shop, where you can sometimes taste test happy-making bottles while you wait. happy hour, live music. (KC)
Bar of the Gods 4801 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 232-2037. Nightly.
CHEERS: The dive bar meets golden-age-of-Caligula decor.
JEERS: May catch a whiff of some "hipper than thou" attitude.[/event]
There's a niche for every mood at Bar of the Gods. Regulars cluster at the busy bar, but corner booths are dark enough for surreptitious snuggling. Bigger tables in the back room are spacious enough to hold your whole crew, and there's even a surprisingly comfortable outdoor (sort of) patio squeezed between buildings behind the bar. HAPPY HOUR, OUTDOOR SEATING, DJs, POOL, PINBALL, VIDEO GAMES (sit-down Ms. Pac-Man!), WI-FI. (JW)
Barcode 133 SW 2nd Ave., 242-0019.
Daily-nightly.
CHEERS: Great happy-hour menu.
JEERS: Soulless.
The ambience of this place is on the chilly side, as it aims to lure the next generation of haves for their ritual of vapid commingling. The sports bar/meat-market combo is a grating mix. However, huge props for the 4-to-10 pm,[/event]
Thai-themed happy-hour menu, like the fat plate of pad kee mao—rice noodles stir-fried with egg and veggies ($3.95). Food is also served until 4:30 am. Go early, eat and drink cheap, and leave before the young capitalists arrive. HAPPY HOUR, FOOD & DRINK SPECIALS, DJ, TV, SMOKE-FREE. (JL)
Barracuda 9 NW 2nd Ave., 228-6900. Nightly Tuesday-Saturday.
CHEERS: You will get hit on.
JEERS: Brace yourself for shrieking each time a new Cam'ron jam starts bumping.
Barracuda takes the "meat market" cliché to a whole new level: Its cavernous interior actually looks like the inside of a barn. Bumping and grinding abound as co-eds join in an undulating mass of hair gel and designer jeans pulsing to the jams of the day. A cool fish tank in the center of the bar is made a little less cool by the surprising absence of any actual barracuda. Be wary of the cocktails: The whiskey and ginger ale ($5.50) was suspiciously cloudy. DRINK SPECIALS, DJ, TV, POOL. (AC)
Bartini 2108 NW Glisan St., 224-7919. Daily-nightly.
CHEERS: $3 martinis during happy hour.
JEERS: The crash from your vodka-and-sugar buzz.
It appears the dictionary definition of "martini" has truly been forgotten. Do people even remember what dry vermouth is? Bartini has taken the reigning disregard for accuracy and run with it, serving up dozens of sweet-and-sultry concoctions in cone-shaped glasses. The dim lounge—it's painted slick black—also offers a temptingly affordable array of small-plate happy-hour fare, like seared tuna ($5) and homemade soup ($2). Cheers to that. HAPPY HOUR, OUTDOOR SEATING, SMOKE-FREE/SMOKING LOUNGE. (AV)
Basement Pub 1028 SE 12th Ave., 231-6068.
Daily-nightly.
CHEERS: Jukebox with Misfits, Bad Religion, Minutemen and Blondie.
JEERS: Very smoky with over-full ashtrays.
Literally built into the basement of a house, this is the epitome of a neighborhood pub, with a friendly, Cheers-goes-punk-in-Portland atmosphere. There's a great beer selection (often served in bigger English pint glasses), as well as cider and wine (Castillo Rioja, $5), and with any drink you can get a food item for $1, like movie nachos or even the more nutritious curried chickpeas and rice. HAPPY HOUR, DRINK SPECIALS, OUTDOOR SEATING, GAMES, JUKEBOX, SMOKING, WI-FI. (JS)
Berbati's Pan 231 SW Ankeny St., 248-4579. Daily-nightly Tuesday-Saturday, nightly Sunday-Monday.
CHEERS: For a live-music venue, there is no better sound in the city.
JEERS: Sometimes the mix of music fans on the venue side and social drinkers on the bar side makes for awkward encounters.
For more than 10 years, Berbati's Pan has been one of the most consistently good medium-sized live music venues in town. In the past year, the club has gone through a few changes, both bad and good. The owners have mostly abandoned the loose, Mediterranean feel of the venue side, knocking out a wall to make room for revelers and redecorating in a more muted rock-club tone. The venue also went nonsmoking, while the bar is still a smoker's delight (and a haven for regular DJ nights). Overall, the club's calendar has been suffering lately, as the venue has become more of a rental space, but it's still one of the best places to see a show. HAPPY HOUR, DRINK & FOOD SPECIALS, OUTDOOR SEATING, POOL, GAMES, SMOKING. (MB)
Bettie Ford Lounge 1135 SW Washington St., 445-8331. Nightly Tuesday-Saturday.
CHEERS: Sweet dance beats.
JEERS: Greek Row club central.
The name rips off SoCal's most infamous celebrity-infested drug-rehab clinic. And that's what this just-opened hot spot succumbs to—an onslaught of trendy posers: fake Gucci purses, hot pink floss, orange tans and bleached highlights. Dingy white, dinerlike booths (situated to look like an asylum cafeteria?) and plastic white curtains (think hospital-room privacy) are a stretch—or put you in a stretcher. But, alas, this recovery room is currently what P-town's "beautiful people" call home. Save for the stiff drinks—like the 12 Step, an intense twist of Grey Goose L'Orange vodka, triple sec, Red Bull and cranberry juice ($8); or the Candy Striper, muddled lemon, strawberry Smirnoff, Hpnotiq and Red Bull ($8)—the only real element of this trip to Cancun is the head-bobbing beat of the larger-than-life Jigga-J-Hova. food & drink specials, dj, queer nights, smoking lounge. (EB)
Beulahland 118 NE 28th Ave., 235-2794.
Daily-nightly.
CHEERS: Broken in like a good pair of jeans.
JEERS: If you're not cool, you're not going to fit in.[/event]
The checklist for a perfect neighborhood joint: tasty pints done dirt cheap ($3 micro pints and $1 off grub during happy hour, 4-7 pm every day), regional brews on tap, exposed brick, and killer meatloaf and mac ($7.75). All that, and still it's a convenient walking distance to the Laurelhurst Theater for a before or after pick-me-up or pull-me-down. It doesn't get better than this. HAPPY HOUR, OUTDOOR SEATING, DJs, POOL, PINBALL, TV, TRIVIA GAME NIGHTS, JUKEBOX, SMOKING LOUNGE. (ID)
Biddy McGraw's 6000 NE Glisan St., 233-1178. Nightly.
CHEERS: An "authentic Irish pub"...
JEERS: ...just like every other authentic Irish pub.
If anything, Biddy McGraw's has got the whole Irish thing down pat. From the spacious, rustic interior to the sprawling whiskey selection, Biddy McGraw's radiates everything Erin (except perhaps the decades of sectarian violence). The food is excellent, and a huge serving of fish and chips ($8) comes golden and flaky. Biddy's is a regular stop on the Irish folk music circuit, so expect a high harpist-to-patron ratio. There's a slew of Guinness taps, but need we even mention that? HAPPY HOUR, LIVE MUSIC, GAMES. (AC)
Billy Ray's[/event][/event] ighborhood Dive
CHEERS: 22-ounce mugs of draft beer.
JEERS: No hard liquor.
Aptly named, you can easily picture Henry Chinaski at the bar, toasting "to all my frieeends." Regulars can get drafts in their own personally decorated mugs, kept behind the bar, as they enjoy the killer jukebox. A little searching reveals a comfy game room upstairs (pinball and pool), and a surprisingly spacious deck out back, where you can gaze at a slice of downtown while waiting for your turn at the Ping-Pong table. So unassumingly cool, so Portland. HAPPY HOUR, OUTDOOR SEATING, GAMES, VIDEO POKER, TV, JUKEBOX. (JL)
Billy Reed's 2808 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 493-8127. Daily-nightly Wednesday-Sunday.
CHEERS: Candlelit marbletop bar adds a touch of class even a passed-out drunk can appreciate.
JEERS: On at least one recent Saturday night, a high asshole quotient of loudmouths at the bar.[/event]
The crowd here can be wildly divergent—depending on whether it's a game night or not. That said, this industrial-decor space, on MLK, is still a cool spot to dine or drink. The food is solid (the classic club sandwich is filling and tasty) and the micros reasonably priced. Looking to eat and drink even cheaper? BR's just sold—look for big changes, including a new name, in June. HAPPY HOUR, OUTDOOR SEATING, LIVE MUSIC, POOL, TV, VIDEO POKER, GAME BUS. (HS)
Binks 2715 NE Alberta St., 493-4430. Daily-nightly.
CHEERS: Simpsons Sunday—Futurama and King of the Hill, too.
JEERS: Cash only. D'oh!
This shoebox-sized pub serves as watering hole for the thirtysomethings changing the face of Northeast Alberta Street and the Concordia 'hood. Beers from Bud to New Belgium and healthy salads suit the baseball-cap, sport-sandal, dog aesthetic of the clientele. The bar is decorated like many of the neighborhood's houses: quirky but safe, with a couple papier-maché animals and subtle Mideast motif decking the walls. Grab a sidewalk table on Last Thursday and watch the spectacle pass by. HAPPY HOUR, OUTDOOR SEATING, POOL, TV, JUKEBOX, FIREPLACE. (SC)
The Bitter End 1981 W Burnside St., 971-222-2000. Daily-nightly.
CHEERS: Excellent place to meet Euro-savvy soccer fans.
JEERS: Unisex bathrooms in sports bars are just men's rooms that women HAVE to use.
Across from PGE Park, this neighborhood pub attracts after-game crowds, including the rowdy Section 107 Timbers Army. A true-blue boys bar, its hefty entrees come with carb-rich dollops of both potato salad and potato chips. Enjoy an afternoon Vanilla Daydream, or come out when the World Cup is on the big screen and coffee is brewed all night for standing-room-only crowds. HAPPY HOUR, LIVE MUSIC, PINBALL, DARTS, POOL, VIDEO GAMES, VIDEO POKER, TV, JUKEBOX, TRIVIA NIGHT, OPEN MIC. (SG)
The Blue Monk 3341 SE Belmont St., 595-0575. Nightly.
CHEERS: Sexy ambience and a sophisticated (but budget-friendly) food menu.
JEERS: Romantic booths are few and far between.[/event]
This restaurant/jazz club's food recently threw Food Network chef Rachael Ray into fits of ecstasy, and its drinks are none too shabby, either. Try the bracingly fresh Cilantro Tini ($7), a shaken blend of ginger-infused vodka, lime and cilantro. Or if you're feeling lucky, the Pete Rose ($7) is fun: Roll the dice, and you might get to call what vodka gets mixed into this grenadine-and-Red Bull concoction. If you're prepared to pay a cover, head downstairs and catch a jazz act five nights a week. Thursday nights it's Stephen Walker and the Few Chosen. Walker is a trombone-playing Hurricane Katrina survivor, and his shows are served with free red beans and rice. HAPPY HOUR, DRINK & FOOD SPECIALS, LIVE MUSIC. (JD)
Bogart's 701 NE 7th Ave., 234-3465. Daily-nightly Monday-Friday.
CHEERS: Cozy and anonymous.
JEERS: Impossible to find.
Unhip as it gets (thank God!) and out of the way, this is a great bar for people who have lots of exes to avoid or mistresses to meet up with—unless any of the involved parties works in the Lloyd District. Hide among the many houseplants filling the windows and sip a coffee nudge ($4.75) from Bogart's strangely Applebee's-like menu: appletinis, Long Islands, you get the idea. Excellent happy-hour deals like $1 nachos and burgers offset not-great drink prices, so chow down, sweetheart. This place can be our little secret. HAPPY HOUR, PINBALL, VIDEO POKER, TV, SMOKING, WI-FI. (SC).
Boiler Room 228 NW Davis St., 227-5441. Nightly.
CHEERS: Monday's comedy night stretches into some truly hilarious late-night karaoke.
JEERS: A little on the small side.
Portland offers much in the way of karaoke, but Boiler Room does it with a suberb sound system in a nicely upscale bar. The Amaretto Sour ($4 special) is sweet and generous in a large cocktail tumbler, and happy hour (weekdays from 7 to 9 pm) gets you $1 off both well drinks and beer. HAPPY HOUR, KARAOKE, COMEDY, NON-SMOKING FRIDAY AND SATURDAY NIGHTS. (MC)
Bonfire Lounge 2821 SE Stark St., 232-3704. Daily-nightly.
CHEERS: Tobacco vending machine with the old Old Turkey wrapper from the '90s.
JEERS: Saves the Day and Third Eye Blind on the stereo, which is way too loud.
It may be the case that this dark, brooding bar stays open only to serve everyone in this neighborhood that finds the Goodfoot hippie vibe reprehensible. A sub-par martini ($4.50) and one of the worst cosmos I've ever had ($5—it tasted like margarita mix) were barely compensated by the hefty portion of fries ($3). Luckily, much of the menu and the prime people-watching tables out front make the bar a good stop over before heading for greener pastures. HAPPY HOUR, DRINK SPECIALS, OUTDOOR SEATING, GAMES, POOL, SMOKING, WI-FI. (JS/MB)
Boxxes/Red Cap/Brig 1035 SW Stark St.,226-4171. Daily-nightly.
CHEERS: Shirtless hotties slap each other on the ass here.
JEERS: After a few cocktails, so do the ugly ones.
For decades, queers would sip on strong, cheap cocktails and watch gay videos on several screens mounted over the bar. This was homo central. Then, for a while, the straighties took over, forcing the gays to move away from their favorite boy bar. Well, after an extensive remodel (which includes a fantastic new dance floor), the boys are back at Boxxes. And boy, are they ever! This is the hottest gay bar happening on Southwest Stark Street, at least after 11 pm on a Saturday night. And if you want to see the really attractive homosexuals making out with other really attractive homosexuals, visit the attached Brig and Red Cap. That's where the real action happens—on the pool table. HAPPY HOUR, DRINK SPECIALS, POOL, VIDEO POKER, DJ, GAMES, TV (VIDEO PORN), QUEER. (BB)
Brazen Bean 2075 NW Glisan St., 294-0636. Nightly Monday-Saturday.
CHEERS: Infusions and people-watching are a must.
JEERS: Overwhelmed waitstaff.
Nesstled in an old Victorian house, slightly off the beaten path of Northwest 21st Avenue, the Brazen Bean is an utter gem. And everyone here knows it. The entryway gleams with low-hanging trees bejeweled in charming white lights, coupled romantic seating and larger tables for the always diverse crowds that frequent this winning cocktail lounge. If you think this already sounds too good to be true, wait until you test out some of the finest mixology in Portland; not to be missed are the Apple Cilantro (tequila, triple sec, apple juice, cilantro and lime, $7) and the Ruby Cowboy (whiskey, cardomom and grapefruit juice, $6), perfect examples of the Bean's ingenious and colorful concoctions. Extra added bonus: Happy hour consists of more than 25 specialty martinis at 4 bucks a saucer! HAPPY HOUR, DRINK SPECIALS, OUTDOOR SEATING. (EB)
BridgePort Ale House 3632 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 233-6540; 1313 NW Marshall St., 241-3612. Daily-nightly.
CHEERS: This place is serious about beer.
JEERS: The scene might be too upscale for a "pub."
Brideport Brewing Co. bills its Ale House on Hawthorne as "a brew pub worth dressing up for." There's no PBR or greasy French fries to be seen: Here you'll get a daily featured cask-conditioned ale ($2.75 for 20 ounces) and a cup of flavorful clam chowder ($2.50). Take your parents to BridgePort for a late lunch of Northwest fare made from scratch with local organic ingredients. The contemporary decor seems out of place on young and edgy Hawthorne, but everyone has to grow up sometime. While you're at it, check out BridgePort's huge, remodeled Pearl District pub, which reopened last February after a year under construction. HAPPY HOUR, FOOD & DRINK SPECIALS, SMOKE-FREE. (PR)
Buffalo Gap 6835 SW Macadam Ave., 244-7111. Daily-nightly
CHEERS: Great live venue and excellent French toast.
JEERS: Feels like its under the control of the Stepford preppies.
Buffalo Gap is a great place to test our favorite John Cusack quote, "Do I listen to pop music because I'm miserable, or am I miserable because listen to pop music?" Despite its Abercrombie-wearing crowd, the Gap books talented acts that sound nothing like Nickelback. The space is huge enough to accommodate large crowds (200 people inside and another 50 on the patio) but intimate enough to make breakfast here feel cozy. As for the drinks? Stick to the basics and you can't go wrong. HAPPY HOUR, FOOD SPECIALS, OUTDOOR SEATING, LIVE MUSIC, KARAOKE, GAMES, VIDEO POKER, SMOKE-FREE AREA, SMOKING LOUNGE, WI-FI. (ELG)
C-Bar 2880 SE Gladstone St., 230-8808. Nightly Tuesday-Sunday.
CHEERS: Impressive selection of sake.
JEERS: Minimalist furnishings verge on sterile.
With local brews and awesome tunes, C-Bar proves to be super-duper cool but not in the least alienating. The mod-yet-cozy décor plus retractable garage doors give this small joint a surprisingly open atmosphere. Charming bartenders and ultra-hip patrons enjoy live music (jazz every Wednesday) or DJs nightly (no cover). LIVE MUSIC, DJ, OUTDOOR SEATING, PAC-MAN, NONSMOKING. (AM)
Candlelight Cafe & Bar 2032 SW 5th Ave., 222-3378. Daily-nightly.
CHEERS: Live, free blues every night.
JEERS: Unfortunately understaffed.
It's like a dark, smoky west Chicago blues bar transplanted to the middle of the Southwest. Local blues heroes and underdogs are scheduled every night, surrounded by music memorabilia and the scent of killer bar grub. The crowd varys quite a bit, but in a place like the Candlelight the only difference the crowd really makes is between a laid-back, intimate evening with lifelong bluesmen or a rowdy night of awe-inspiring 12-bar mayhem. happy hour, food & drink specials, live music, games, video poker, tv, smoking, wi-fi. (AK)
Capt. Ankeny's Well 50 SW 3rd Ave., 223-1375.
Daily-nightly.
CHEERS: Lots of windows for watching the bike messengers congregating outside Stumptown.
JEERS: One plate is one too many of Thursday's all-you-can-eat spaghetti special.
Just across West Burnside Street from Old Town, this family-friendly (if your family consists of bike messengers and barflies) bar serves as a tourist hub as well as a hangout for service-industry employees from nearby upscale venues. Known for its deep-dish pizza, Capt. Ankeny's also cooks up Harris Ranch hand-formed burgers sprinkled with owner Jon Abrahamson's secret special spices. And, oh yeah, lots of cheap beer and drinks, too. HAPPY HOUR, FOOD & DRINK SPECIALS, OUTDOOR SEATING, DJs, TV, SMOKE-FREE UNTIL 3 PM, WI-FI. (SG)
C.C. Slaughters 219 NW Davis St., 248-9135. Nightly.
CHEERS: Hot guys swinging big baskets all up in your face.
JEERS: On a slow night, this place feels like a gay ghost town.
Celebrating 25 years serving the queer community at different spots throughout the city, C.C.'s is the kind of place where Jack Twist from Brokeback Mountain might end up on the dance floor with "Just Jack" from Will & Grace. With a massive dance floor, great DJs (you go, Alex!) and pretty young things in tight clothes, C.C.'s is one of Portland's top spots to shake your ass and drink as if your name was Diana Ross. For those of you with other interests (odd as that may sound), there are live music, karaoke and drag events throughout the year that appeal to just about everyone. HAPPY HOUR, DRINK SPECIALS, OUTDOOR SEATING, LIVE MUSIC, DJs, STRIPPERS, GAMES, VIDEO POKER, DRAG, QUEER, TV, KARAOKE, OPEN MIC, WI-FI. (EG)
The Cheerful Tortoise 1939 SW 6th Ave., 224-3377.
Daily-nightly.
CHEERS: Centerpiece fireplace plus TVs in every corner = a warm, well-lighted place to get soused during the cold months of football, basketball and hockey season.
JEERS: Hemingway wouldn't be entirely pleased. The place may be well-lighted, but it ain't exactly clean.[/event]
This staple of Portland State University life is simplicity itself for the unreconstructed sports fan. Fried and greasy food (try the buffalo wings for $5.95), cheap beer specials (priced as low as $2.50 for Coors on Sundays) until midnight, and breakfast served all day long. And it's a sports bar with catholic tastes, where TVs are just as likely to be turned to English League soccer as the NBA. HAPPY HOUR, DRINK & FOOD SPECIALS, LIVE MUSIC, POOL, VIDEO POKER, TV, MOVIES, JUKEBOX, KARAOKE, FIREPLACE. (HS)
Cheers NW 1502 NW 19th Ave., 222-3416. Daily-nightly.
CHEERS: Nice, hideout feel to the place.
JEERS: The voice of one loud drunk can fill the room.
Blink and you'll miss this small bar located on the industrial edges between the Pearl District and Northwest Portland. Once inside you will find a dark, denlike place where blue-collar types just want to get liquored up on the generous pours, chat with their friends, and mind their business. So secretive, it is the perfect place for a romantic tryst. Even the video crack is hidden away in a room of its own. The friendly staff makes it all the more comfortable. FOOD SPECIALS, VIDEO POKER, GAMES, TV, JUKEBOX. (JL)
Chopsticks Express II 2651 E Burnside St., 234-6171. Daily-nightly Monday-Saturday, night-only Sunday.
CHEERS: Serious karaoke.
JEERS: Myriad blinking lights may induce seizures.[/event]
Thanks to its cutting-edge karaoke machine and hard-working KJs, Chopsticks is a no-brainer for drunken singalongs. The decor is along the lines of "A Very Asian Christmas," and everything is swathed in flashing strands of light that glint prettily in plates of greasy Chinese food. Cheap Pabst ($1.50 during happy hour) helps truly horrendous singers perform with touching earnestness in the gigantic karaoke lounge. Nights at Chopsticks are decidedly karaoke-centric, and only an audio masochist could find any other reason to stick around. HAPPY HOUR, FOOD & DRINK SPECIALS, KARAOKE, PINBALL, POOL, VIDEO POKER, TV. (AC)
Clinton Street Pub 2516 SE Clinton St., 236-7137.
Daily-nightly.
CHEERS: Everyone's favorite laid-back corner bar with tons of table seating.
JEERS: Everyone's favorite place to cram in and smoke.
Clinton Street is the ideal working-class beer joint, even offering union- and food handler-card discounts on Sunday nights. Everyone else can rely on cans of PBR for $1.75 and the double corn dog and fries deal for $3. It doesn't get much simpler, or more satisfying, than that. HAPPY HOUR, GAMES, TV, POOL. (MC)
Commodore Lounge 1601 SW Morrison St., 224-0051. Daily-nightly.
CHEERS: Cheap, strong cocktails.
JEERS: A narrow space with few windows, the Commodore is a hole-in-the-closet.[/event]
The cougar-ish bartender at the Commodore Lounge told me, "Every hour is happy hour in here, honey." And she's right: a vodka-cran so strong it'd be a double elsewhere costs only $2.75 here. Apparently plenty of Portlanders know this, because on weeknights there's not a free seat in the place. Neighborhood regulars, passersby, hipsters and queers all feel welcome here. Unfortunately, besides the stiff drinks and remarkable jukebox (from Steve Miller Band to Pavement to Madonna), the Commodore has little else to offer. Well, except the queers, who make any bar better. FOOD & DRINK SPECIALS, POOL, VIDEO POKER, TV, JUKEBOX. (PR)
County Cork 1329 NE Fremont St., 284-4805. Daily-nightly.
CHEERS: Pleasant nouveau-Irish feel, including the spring-fresh air.
JEERS: Service is super-friendly but frequently overwhelmed.
OK, so it's not Cheers. But somehow, in a relatively short span of time, this Northeast Fremont Street favorite has become the epitome of a neighborhood pub. Beer swillers of all ages rub elbows in this wide-open space with tables that encourage you to meet the folks nearby. Better yet, it's the kind of place where you can gather with soccer pals at the bar but still feel fine bringing the whole friggin' family. Excellent rotating beer list, with two cask pours and above-average pub grub. HAPPY HOUR, OUTDOOR SEATING, LIVE MUSIC (WEEKEND NIGHTS), DARTS, SMOKE-FREE (SMOKING ON PATIO). (JW)
Crow Bar 3954 N Mississippi Ave., 280-7099. Daily-nightly.
CHEERS: Shadowy decor, a sundry jukebox and exposed brick make this Mississippi spot a great place to chill.
JEERS: It can get hard to unwind after dinner when everyone in North Portland has the same idea.[/event]
The always-crowded Crow Bar has the obligatory happy-hour menu, but it is so friggin' cheap you might just feel guilty ordering from it: The most expensive item tops out at around $6. While there are no specialty drinks at the bar, everything here is special—including the fact that they now serve hard alcohol. The wine list is simple yet good. Any place you can catch a buzz and have a sandwich for under $10 is a great place. HAPPY HOUR, FOOD SPECIALS, GAMES, POOL, JUKEBOX, WI-FI. (ELG)
Crush 1400 SE Morrison St., 235-8150. Nightly Tuesday-Sunday.
CHEERS: The patented Ally McBeal move with their bathroom: communal toilets.
JEERS: It's a little poseur-heavy.[/event]
The newly renovated Crush Bar is all about equal opportunity. There are non-discriminating, omnisexual bathrooms; smoking guests are provided with their own breathing room, aptly named "Vice"; and although it's primarily a homo joint, it's hetero-friendly. Even your grandma would feel sexy here—especially after a night of dancing and downing some of Crush's famous fancy-pants cocktails, like the sparkling lemon drop or the rich mochachocolata. (LS) HAPPY HOUR, OUTDOOR SEATING, DJs, QUEER, SMOKING LOUNGE. (LS)
Dante's 1 SW 3rd Ave., 226-6630. Daily-nightly Monday-Friday, Night-only Saturday-Sunday.
CHEERS: The drinks are always cold and the bartenders are always hot.
JEERS: This club has an annoying habit of keeping tables on the dancefloor during even the most raucous and crowded live shows.
In the past year, Dante's has made a dramatic transformation from a place that felt like hell to see a show at (the low ceiling, the bathrooms in the middle of the room) to a place that simply looks like hell (the red lighting, the fire pit). Now with the suspended ceiling demolished, the bathrooms relocated, a new stage and another bar added, this is definitely the best room to see a rock show at in Portland. Oh, and you can smoke there too, which is awesome. For me, anyway. HAPPY HOUR, FOOD & DRINK SPECIALS, POOL, VIDEO POKER, GAMES, SMOKING. (MB)
Darcelle XV 208 NW 3rd Ave., 222-5338. Nightly Wednesday-Saturday.
CHEERS: Its amazing history, not to mention hot "chicks."
JEERS: Beer lines need a thorough cleaning.
Since 1967, Portland has had its very own showplace-cum-museum of female impersonators. Its rich history, displayed in enough faded 8-by-10's to cover every inch of the walls here, hides how just unfusty yet fun, funky and right on the mark this place is. The "show" itself (twice on Fridays and Saturdays) is a raucous burlesque of dancing, dirty jokes and enough audience interactivity to make it feel like an adult version of Chuck E. Cheese. Over the years, it's become the place for bachelorettes (with stiff drinks and even stiffer male strippers) or for anyone else who wants to get down with their bawdy self. Hang 'round after the show and, if you're lucky, Darcelle's longtime partner, Roxy, will treat you to stories from the establishment's colorful past. DRINK SPECIALS, STRIPPERS, DRAG, COMEDY. (JL)
Devil's Point 5305 SE Foster Road, 774-4513. Daily-nightly.
CHEERS: Just like good sex, this strip club offers some variety and surprises.
JEERS: Although doors open earlier, dancers don't show up until 4 pm.
Devil's Point is located a few rings of hell from its downtown counterpart, Dante's. But if your girlfriend doesn't share your love of strip joints, this neighborly bar just might save your relationship. Kind of like Cheers with tits, Devil's Point has something for everyone—bands, nude fire dancing and stripparaoke (clothing removal optional). HAPPY HOUR, OUTDOOR SEATING, LIVE MUSIC, DJs, KARAOKE, STRIPPERS, POOL, KENO, VIDEO POKER, TV, WI-FI. (SG)
DRINKIPEDIA - Willamette Week's annual Drink Guide 2006
Clock Blockin' - Every hour is happy hour!
Tiki Wiki - In search of the Perfect Mai Tai.
WWeek 2015