Hotseat: Kristine Levine

As Portland's doyenne of blue-collar comedy, Kristine Levine has a way of cracking jokes—whether about her fat kids or about finding dead bodies in the jack shack—that's both brassy and delightful. In 15 years of doing standup, though, she's never recorded an album. That changes this Saturday, Oct. 4, when Levine takes the Funhouse stage for two back-to-back shows. 

Levine, who landed in the No. 4 slot of WW's inaugural Funniest 5 last year, is getting some recording help from the Grammy-winning, Minneapolis-based Stand Up! Records. She expects the album to be completed by mid-November. WW talked to Levine about why she's recording an album now, the woman she calls "Cancerfish" and her reasons for hating Bruce Springsteen.

Willamette Week: Why record an album now?

Kristine Levine: I've been a comedian for about 15 years. When I first started, putting out an album was important. You had to work a really long time and make sure it was really good. Then I got busy with the kids, I got a divorce—my husband left me for a woman he met on StarTrek.com. Shit just got crazy. I guess I'd been waiting for someone to give me a record deal or something. But then my friend and fellow comedian Dan Weber said, "Why don't you have an album out? " It just made sense when he said it it. I was like, Holy shit. What the fuck am I doing? My youngest son is 17 years old, so my kids are all out the door now. It was a wake-up call for me. Being a woman and a single mom, I felt like I had to wait for my children to get old enough for me to abandon them.

Why are you doing two shows?

I'm doing two shows because I have so much material. We're talking about a 15-year career. It's very hard to cherry-pick which one of my babies I love the most. I'm really excited to let it all go, though. I'm excited to be done with all my old material and embark on something new.

What sorts of jokes will we hear for the last time?

One of the things I love to talk about is how I've raised a family of fat kids and how I've done it on purpose. The kids are still fat. They're still big, fat, moon-faced houseplants. But because they've gotten older—my daughter has a boyfriend I don't like—there's so much more material there that I can't wait to do. And some of the stuff about me working at the porn store, I won't have reason to retell in the future.

On Facebook, you've been posting a lot about a woman in Tennessee who claimed she had cancer to raise money from unwitting donors. You call her "Cancerfish." What's the story there?

This is amazing. I stumbled on this woman in Clarksville, Tenn. She was the online girlfriend of an ex-friend of mine. She told him she had cancer last October, and then he started bullying my friends and me for money. He was being a real dick about it. That made me ask questions. Four or five of my friends got together in a little ladies' detective club. I happen to have friends in Clarksville because I've done shows there, and they did some groundwork.

Her parents sent us these documents as proof of her cancer. They were receipts from one of those cheapo receipt books like you see at the Dollar Tree. They said they were for chemo. So my friends and I called up the hospital, and there was nobody by the names on the receipts. The nurse said, "We have a lady who comes in about twice a week to use our bathroom, and she just shaves her head. Is this the lady you're talking about?" We turned them over, and then the hospital turned them over to the police. The woman is in jail now. She got, by our calculations, at least $40,000.

What other new material are you working on?

I just started working a day job at a metal shop. I turn metal black. It's a factory-type setting, so I've become really into workers' rights. I'm learning all about Lech Walesa, Che Guevara, OSHA, Bruce Springsteen. I'm learning about all of this stuff associated with work and the idea of work and what it means to work. I've never work-worked. I've never in my life had a job where I can't drink. I've always been a comedian, a porn clerk and a mother, and you can drink on the job at all those three jobs. This job, you absolutely cannot be drunk. They don't even want me to drink eight or six hours before my shift. My shift starts at 7 am, so I have to not be drunk by 2. I've never dealt with that before.

What's with the Springsteen material?

I started listening to music that I thought was related to other workers and factories—"take this job and shove it," that kind of thing. I got stuck on Bruce Springsteen and then I read an article about him in Forbes magazine and found out he's never actually had a job in his entire life. I have about 20 minutes about my problem with Bruce Springsteen, where I basically deconstruct his entire schtick. Everything that man does infuriates me. I saw a photo of him on a paddleboat in the French Riviera with his shirt off. He looks amazing.

How are you enjoying the job at the metal shop?

I kind of like it. I get in the zone when I'm working. It's just brainless work—you take these parts, you turn 'em black, you put 'em in a box, you ship 'em out. It's manual physical labor but I rather enjoy it. My brain is free to do nothing but think of jokes or plot my escape from the shit pit. I'm listening to Dolly Parton, "9-5," on my iPod, plotting my escape.

Is it dirty?

Oh, it's so gross. It's disgusting. It's even grosser than when I worked at the porn store. It's nasty. I'm covered in soot or black goo from head to toe when I go home. I'm disgusting. My boyfriend won't even let me give a hand job, I'm so gross. My fingernails, it's just nasty. I've got dirt all the way up into my armpits. I don't even know how it gets into my armpits. See why I'm so mad at Bruce Springsteen? Because I'm just like, goddammit, dude. Really?

SEE IT: Kristine Levine is at Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave., 841-6734. 7 and 10 pm Saturday, Oct. 4. $5 suggested. Tickets here or at the door.

WWeek 2015