Skip to main contentLights
Pioneer Square Tree Lighting Ceremony
The festivities leading up to the lighting of the 75-foot tree will include a singalong with members of Pink Martini and Thomas Lauderdale and music by the 234th Army Band. Pioneer Courthouse Square. 5:30 pm Nov. 28.
Lights at Maddax Wood
If a single Christmas tree isnât enough to satisfy your holiday desire for illuminated trees, Maddax Wood lights up a whole bunch of âem so you can stroll through the woods while taking in the holiday cheer. Maddax Wood, 5785 River St, West Linn. 4 pm-9 pm through Dec. 31. Free.
Pittock Mansion Holiday Exhibit
Each year, volunteers decorate every room in the gigantic house on the hill. The theme this year is "Christmas Past, Present and Future" in honor of the historic mansion's centennial. Pittock Mansion, 3229 NW Pittock Drive, 823-3623. Through January 2. $10.50 for adults, $9.50 for seniors, $7.50 for minors, free for members and children under 5.
ZooLights
The animals of the zoo get in the holiday spirit by decorating their home with a bunch of lights. Oregon Zoo, 4001 SW Canyon Road. Sunday-Thursday 5 pm-8 pm, Friday-Saturday 5 pm-8:30 pm. Nov. 28-Jan. 4. $10 for adults, $9 for seniors, $7 for kids 3-11, and free for members and children 2 and under.
Christmas Ship Parade
Great if you like lights but would prefer the lights to stroll past you, instead of the other way around. Various locations along the Willamette River. 7 pm Dec. 5, 6 pm Dec. 6, and 7 pm Dec 8-12. christmasships.org
Peacock Lane
The residents of Peacock Lane go all out with decorations so their street can be mobbed by pedestrians coming to admire their work. Peacock Lane. 6 pm-11 pm Dec. 15-30, 6 pm-midnight Dec. 24 and 31.
Food and Drink
La Fete Du Macaron
A raucous celebration of all things creamy and dainty. Theyâre making a macaronut at this Pix event. Thereâll also be cupcake stomping if you have some anti-cupcake angst you need to work out (or if you just like smashing things). Pix Pâtisserie. Saturday, Nov. 29. All day.
Holiday Ale Fest
The biggest event on Portlandâs winter beer calendar, the annual Holiday Ale Festival gives Portlanders the chance to sample over 70 beers under one big tent. Pioneer Courthouse Square. Dec. 3-6 11 am-10 pm, Dec. 7 11 am-5 pm. $35. holidayale.com
Music
The Dandy Warhols Pagan Christmas
In the 17 years since the Dandy Warhols first recorded their weirdly definitive rendition of âLittle Drummer Boy,â the Portland icons somehow fell into the habit of playing Christmastime concerts. This year, theyâre giving two performances: One playing the score of a silent film during a five course dinner, and an all ages show two days later. Dinner at Blackberry Hall on Dec 18. 7 pm. $150. 21kknd. Concert at Crystal Ballroom on Dec. 20. 8 pm. $20 advance, $25 day of show. All ages.
Rudolph Singalong Bike Ride
Pay homage to the Christmas classic with a bike ride that'll occur 50 years to the hour after the movie was first aired on NBC. The five mile ride will loop through downtown, making stops along the way to sing songs from Rudolph the Red Nose Raindeer. Meet up at the Portland Aerial Tram Lower Landing. 5 pm Dec. 6. Free. puddlecycle.com.
Portland Gay Menâs Chorus
PGMC gives their 35th annual Christmas song and dance concert. Newmark Theater, 1111 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 8 pm Dec. 5-6, 3 pm Dec. 7. $15-$45.
The Great Figgy Pudding Caroling Competition
Downtown gets taken over by teams of carolers. Roaming judges will then select the three best groups to compete on the stage in Pioneer Square. Pioneer Courthouse Square. 6 pm Dec. 12.
Tuba concert at Pioneer Square
So. Many. Tubas. Over 250 of them will play Christmas songs in unison. Pioneer Courthouse Square. 1:30 pm-3pm Dec. 13.
Theater
The Santaland Diaries
Portland Center Stage's annual production of David Sedaris' brutally comedic account of a stint playing wage-slave elf "Crumpet" for Macy's Yuletide installation. Portland Center Stage. Nov. 24-Dec. 29. 7:30 pm Tuesday-Sunday, 2 pm Saturday and Sunday matinee. special showing 2 pm Wednesday, Dec. 24. $40 general admission, $25 for students. Recommended for 14kknd, children under 6 not permitted.
The 3rd Floorâs War On Christmas
Some of the funniest people in Portland skewer the holiday season, with a series of sketches aboutâamong other thingsâGeorge Bailey, the Grinch, sexy Mormons, cocaine gift exchanges and naked ghosts. Miracle Theatre, 525 SE Stark St., 908-1141. 8 pm Fridays-Saturdays. $15-$18.
Rudolph: On Stage
Adapted by Shelley McLendon and directed by John Breen, Rudolph: On Stage pays loving homage to the longest-running Christmas TV special in history, tugging on deep-seated nostalgia without devolving into schmaltzinessâor, crucially, trying for edginess with misguided scatalogical humor. CoHo Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh St., 220-2646. 7:30 Fridays-Saturdays through Dec. 21. $20-$24.
Flying Fruitcake
Curious Comedy isnât kidding with the âflyingâ thing: In addition to original sketch comedy, improv and musical spoofs, this holiday revue also features aerial displays. Curious Comedy Club, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 8 pm Friday-Saturday. Nov. 28-Dec. 20. $12 advance, $15 day of show.
Miracle On 43rd Street: A 1940s Holiday Radio Massacre
Each year, the Venetian Theater selects a Christmas story to âmassacre.â This year, theyâll be butchering the story of a Macyâs Santa who claims to be the real Santa by adding characters such as a mafia boss and a radio station manger with some digestion issues. The Venetian Theater, 253 E Main Street., 693-3953. Nov. 28-30 and Dec. 4-7, 11-14, 18-22. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday, 2:00 pm Sunday matinee. $22-$32.
e.e.cummings' Santa
A comedically existential take on the holidays in which Santa and Death are twins and anti-capitalist allegories. The Backdoor Theater, 4319 SE Hawthorne, 567-8309. 7:30 pm Thursday-Sunday, Sunday matinee 3 pm. Dec 4-21. $15-$25. liminalgroup.org
A John Water's Christmas
The Pope of Trash performs his holiday themed, one-man show about things like his obsessions with Santa Claus and holiday horror stories. Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave, 234-9694. 8 pm Dec. 6. $35-$100 advance, $40-$100 day of show.
A Tuna Christmas
From horny teenage gum-poppers to lonely Baptist divorcees, all 22 inhabitants of Tuna, Texas are played by Jeffrey Jason Gilpin and Alan King. Just 24 hours before Christmas, Tuna residents are scrambling to overcome family differences and find out who's been sabotaging everyone's yard decorations. Newmark Theater, 1111 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 7:30 pm, 2 pm Sunday matinee. Dec. 12-21. $20 and up.
Dance
Noches de Invierno Savannah Feuntes performs her flamenco tribute to winter with singer Jose Anillo and guitarist Bobby de Sofia. The Steep and Thorny Way to Heaven, SE 2nd and Madison. 8 pm and 10 pm, Dec. 2. $15-$25.
In Good Company
For their âun-holidayâ show, Northwest Dance Project turns the choreography over to the dancers for some light-hearted fun. Vestas Building Atrium, 1417 NW Everett Street. 4 pm and 7:30 pm, Dec. 5-7. $39. nwdanceproject.org
White Album Christmas
A circus spectacular featuring clowns, belly dancers, and acrobats performing a live performance of The Beatles. Alberta Rose Theater, 3000 NE Alberta, 719-6055. 8 pm Dec. 5-8 and Dec. 10-12, 2 pm matinee on Dec. 7. $28 advance, $33 day of.
The Nutcracker
Oregon Ballet Theater—one of only six companies in the country to get permission from George Balanchine's notoriously litigious heirs to stage the most famous version of Tchaikovsky's ballet—takes its over-the-top sets right out of the playbook of golden-age MGM musicals with a multi-tiered confection of hoop dancers, somewhat uncomfortable Chinese stereotypes and fairies in beautiful dresses. Oregon Ballet Theater, Keller Auditorium, 1111 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 2 pm and 7 pm Dec. 13-27. $20-$160.
Cracked
The Classical Ballet Company gives their take on The Nutcracker with contemporary music and a mix of ballet, jazz and modern dance. Classical Ballet Academy, 7970 Milwaukie Ave, 890-6101. 8 pm Dec. 19, 7 pm Dec 21. $23 for adults, $17 for seniors and minors, $12 for kids 2-9.
Movies
Life of Brian
Thanks corporatization, people tend to forget what the holiday's really about: the birth of Brian. Monty Python recounts the life of the mistaken messiah to remind us all of the reason for the season. Academy Theater, 7818 SE Stark St, 252-0500. Dec. 5-11. $4 for adults, $3 for seniors and kids under 12.
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
The Christmas addition of the Griswold family's many misadventures. Laurelhurst Theater, 2735 E Burnside, 232-5511. Dec. 5-11.
Home Alone
Watch all of your worst childhood fears inflicted upon a ten-year-old Macaulay Culkin: his family abandons hims, bad guys break into his house, and no one will be home to give him his Christmas presents. Laurelhurst Theater, 2735 E Burnside, 232-5511. Dec. 12-18.
A Christmas Story
The hilarious tale of children shooting themselves with air rifles and getting their tongues stuck to flag poles. Also notably for its accurate depiction of how truly terrifying department store Santas are. Academy Theater, 7818 SE Stark St, 252-0500. Dec. 12-18. $4 for adults, $3 for seniors and kids under 12.
VHSXMAS 2
Scarecrow Video unearths footage from obscure VHS Christmas tapes. Hollywood Theater, 4122 NE Sandy Boulevard, 493-1128. 9:30 pm Dec. 13.
It's A Wonderful Life
Somebody's got to screen it, and if anybody's going to make it worthwhile, it's the Hollywood Theater. Hollywood Theater, 4122 NE Sandy Boulevard, 493-1128. Dec. 19-25.
The Big Lebowski
For those foolish holdouts who remain unconvinced that The Big Lebowski is the funniest movie ever made, the Clinton throws in some bonuses to their annual screening in 35mm prints by serving Rice Russians and encouraging you to come in your PJs. The Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton Street, 238-5588. 7:30 pm Dec. 22-Dec. 28. $8 in advance, $10 at the door.
Die Hard
Die Hard is Uncle Rich: that abrasive drunk who shows up at the Christmas party with a pocketful of firecrackers and a fifth of scotch. It provides all the evidence we need that R-rated Christmas movies are considerably better than the wishy-washy classics. Laurelhurst Theater, 2735 E Burnside, 232-5511. Dec. 19-23.
The Muppet Christmas Carol
Jim Henson's take on Dickens' classic Christmas tale is oddly one of the darker Muppet movies, given it's supposed to be such a cheery time of year. Academy Theater, 7818 SE Stark St, 252-0500. Dec. 19-25. $4 for adults, $3 for seniors and kids under 12.
Silent Night, Deadly Night
If you need a little break from all the warmth and togetherness brought about by the holidays, the Hollywood Theater will be screening Silent Night, Deadly Night (the story of a boy who goes on a killing spree after witnessing the murder of his parents by a guy dressed as Santa) just two days before Christmas. Hollywood Theater, 4122 NE Sandy Boulevard, 493-1128. Dec. 23.
Shopping and Gift Making
Crafty Wonderland's Super Colossal Holiday Sale
Over 250 vendors selling handmade goods. Oregon Convention Center, 777 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. 11 am-6 pm Dec. 13-15.
It's a Cupcake Christmas
The Cupcake Girls non-profit roundup local artists and craft makers for a holiday bazaar. The Cleaners at Ace Hotel, 403 SW 10th. 11 am-5 pm Nov. 30.
Portland Nursery Holiday Inspiration Weekend
Classes, displays, and vendors to inspire your plant-based hall-decking. Portland Nursery, 5050 SE Stark, 231-5050 and 9000 SE Division, 788-9000. Nov. 29-30.
A Handmade Holiday
Out do Pinterest DIY gifters with workshops on how to make wreaths, table runners, holiday cards and more. Schoolhouse Electric, 2181 NW Nicolai St., 230-7113. Dec. 1-4 and Dec. 14. $10-$85.
WWeek 2015