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Here’s one stoner flex I endorse wholeheartedly: owning a robust collection of functional novelty glass with which to consume your cannabis. That’s because hand-blown glass created specifically for cannabis use is one of the most overlooked and undercelebrated forms of contemporary fine art in North America. I said what I said.
Walk into any head shop and you’ll see a full-on menagerie: prototypical beaker bongs with added glass aesthetic features; experimental cartoon-influenced water pipes; and grandiose works of smokable sculpture that feel better suited to a West End gallery than a smoke shop.
But these elaborate works raise the question: Just how smokable is smokable art?
To properly research the matter, some friends and I pulled five of the most creative bongs from our well-curated collections of glass and put them to the test. Spoiler alert: Some novelty bongs are better left on the shelf, while others are showstoppers guaranteed to get the party stoned to the bone. Either way, it was a compelling way to consume, ahem, art. Here are our reviews:
Crystal Ball by Canna Style
Canna Style is a women-led collective in New York that produces wildly inventive takes on water pipes and oil rigs, largely as part of themed collections designed with feminine whimsy at the fore. The Crystal Ball is its bestseller, the jewel atop many a stoner witch’s stone zone.
When hit dry, the ball emits a high-pitched, ethereal whistle that I was told was a design flaw but I found to be more of a feature. When watered, the bong draws painfully slow due to an intake that is too small for the amount of smoke the ball produces, which is considerable considering the unit can be comfortably held with one hand. This leads to smoke becoming stale before the chamber is empty. Yuck. Furthermore, the downstem’s incorporation into the design means it’s fixed, making this the type of bong that requires an alcohol rinse after every sesh lest the stem gets gummed up.
That said, the unit is still an unparalleled conversation piece. The image of this violet-hued glass orb filling with thick smoke is kind of worth the effort it takes to then clear said smoke, but only for moony-eyed esoteric types dazzled by aesthetics (me). Anyone else might find this unit annoying and wasteful.
Bottom line: Great for the plot, lame for the pot. Reserve for witchy-poo photo shoots, séances, and the occasional green witch meetup. $100 at cannastyle.com.
Gummy Bear by Hemper
Hemper is an online head shop and subscription box service that features smoke shop necessities like hemp wraps, rolling papers, cones and grinders alongside limited-edition novelty rigs that run the gamut from fast food effigies to Fabergé egg-themed pieces. Where Canna Style is unapologetically femme, Hemper’s novelty is firmly rooted in campy nostalgia and androgynous kitsch.
We tested Hemper’s sturdy Gummy Bear bong, a squat turquoise-hued unit with a built-in downstem and the ergonomic hand feel of, what else, an oversized gummy bear. It was a legitimate delight to hold and felt the least fragile of all the bongs tested.
The smoke circle was charmed by the unit’s efficacy. It also had an intake that felt a bit small, but it was light work to clear the chamber. Ultimately, this felt like an adorably utilitarian rig for the smoker who wants something slightly more precious than a basic beaker and prefers a small Slurpee-sized bong hit to a mega Big Gulp one.
Bottom line: A perfect novelty bong for the delightfully eccentric solo smoker. $60 at hemper.com.
Parisian Rosé Bottle by Canna Style
The least popular of the novelty units was the Rosé Bottle from Canna Style. The consensus was that it felt a bit ostentatious and overly delicate for what ultimately amounted to a retrofitted mini wine bottle that functioned more as a one-hit bubbler than a bong we could pass around.
The subtext, though, was that this—while not tremendously smoke circle–friendly—had the same appeal as the Gummy Bear: small enough for a single user, but only if that user has a particular affinity for its theme, which in this case was Pink Paris.
Frankly, I was pretty charmed. Admittedly, though, I am the target audience for such fuckery (I prefer not to share my bong hit, thank you very much), so take my endorsement with a grain of (pink) salt.
Bottom line: Strictly for the solo-smoking femme fantasia experience. Pairs well on the ’Gram with a fancy glass of actual rosé. $70 at cannastyle.com.
Classic Gravity Bong by Gravitron
If you’re the type for whom the 2-liter soda bottle/bucket combo evokes memories of ephemeral stoner youth, the Gravitron wants to enter the chat. This contemporary, mature version of the classic bucket-bottle arrangement instead pairs a sleek glass canister with a bottle-shaped insert that glides in and out with ease.
All of the mechanics of the classic gravity bong arrangement are in play with the Gravitron. The starkest difference is the glass vase appearance that asserts itself as a curio rather than a mode of interstellar travel. The price tag reflects that energy because, Gawd knows, while the 2-liter bucket bong is evergreen, it has no business holding fresh flowers on a kitchen counter like the Gravitron could.
Despite the benign visage, this thing is for serious stoners. The unit has a smoke chamber the size of a liter of wine and should only be considered by potheads who can confidently chug the thick smoke therein. Either way, good luck in outer space.
Bottom line: This is for varsity potheads with a not-insignificant weed gadget budget, plus an affinity for clean lines and bongs that could feasibly double as flower vases. $80–$100 at grav.com.
Kinetic Gravity Infuser by Stündenglass
This game-changer is a kinetic bong that utilizes both gravity and motion to draw and expel tremendous amounts of smoke via two large rotating glass chambers. Much like a hookah, this is a smoke machine, but the catch is that it doesn’t require the user to draw but rather just open their mouth and let the unit blow the smoke directly into their face.
The piece is so elaborate, it’s not obvious it’s a bong; in fact, as the brand grows, its collaborations have expanded the concept into delightfully conceived add-ons like pineapple- and boxing glove-shaped globes (due to a partnership with Mike Tyson).
This party piece is a fantastic centerpiece for a stoner gathering, but it also burns through flower at an alarming rate and produces smoke in a way that demands attention or ends up passively filling a space and damning everyone at the function with at least a contact high. That—in combination with the steep price tag—means this may be best for professional weed partyers rather than tight circles of pothead homies; though, in my experience, it’s a memorable (well, as much as it can be) experience for those who get to partake.
Bottom line: For the rare, ultra-wealthy stoner with parties to throw and weed to waste. $600 at stundenglass.com.
