Streaming Wars: “Pain & Gain” Proves That Michael Bay Is Still Hollywood’s Smartest Dumbass

PORTLAND PICK:

I’ll be honest: I’m not a fan of PDX-raised director Todd Field’s Little Children (2006). But it will help you get a handle on his perverse and peculiar sense of humor (which is used to much finer effect in TÁR). Based on a novel by Tom Perrotta (and functioning as a clinical cousin to vibrant, lurid suburban melodramas like American Beauty and Blue Velvet), Little Children stars Kate Winslet, Patrick Wilson, Jennifer Connelly and Jackie Earle Haley. Rent on Apple TV, Amazon Prime, Google Play, Vudu, YouTube.

INDIE PICK:

When James Gray’s autobiographical Armageddon Time opens in Portland theaters tomorrow night, it will mark the continuation of one of the most extraordinary careers in 21st century Hollywood. To see where it all began, watch his poetically grim directorial debut, Little Odessa (1994). Tim Roth stars as a Russian hit man whose reunion with his brother (Edward Furlong) and his ex-girlfriend (Moira Kelly) leads to tragedy and bloodshed. Tubi.

HOLLYWOOD PICK:

Michael Bay may be Hollywood’s smartest dumbass—and in Pain & Gain (2013), his vulgar theatrics are at their most grotesquely entertaining. Mark Wahlberg, Anthony Mackie and Dwayne Johnson star as a trio of Miami bodybuilders (based on actual people) who kidnap an obnoxious businessman (Tony Shalhoub) and commandeer his wealth in a feckless bid to experience the American Dream. Ed Harris co-stars as a detective who becomes the film’s lone embodiment of stoic, thoughtful patriotism. Amazon Prime, Paramount+.

INTERNATIONAL PICK:

In Wong Kar-wai’s 2046 (2004), a sci-fi writer (Tony Leung) loves and loses several women: a professional gambler (Gong Li), the daughter of a hotel owner (Faye Wong), and a cabaret girl (Zhang Ziyi) whose romantic anguish nearly consumes the film. Set mostly in Hong Kong in the ‘60s, the film is ostensibly a sequel to Wong’s deliciously dreamy In the Mood for Love, but it possesses a strange beauty all its own (yes, the rumors are true: There is a futuristic subplot involving an android-filled sky train). Tubi.