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Sit on #Authentic Santa's Lap This Christmas

Are you looking for a better way to express your #authentic #PNWlife self this winter?

By Lizzy Acker

Are you sick of those #basic Pumpkin Spice Latte drinking, "Jingle Bells" singing, Love, Actually-watching mall Santas? Are you looking for a better way to express your #authentic #PNWlife self this winter? Well, you're in luck.

Pioneer Place, which is yes, okay, a mall with yes, a GAP, is offering what they are calling "an authentic Santa experience" this year.

According to their press release, "Old Saint Nick's home at the downtown shopping mall will include a PDX carpet chair, bicycle and all things quintessentially Portland."

A bicycle? PDX CARPET?! Is it even possible to be more Portland than that?!

Turns out it is, because the press release goes on to mention: "Guests also will receive a temporary tattoo as a giveaway."

Thank God, or the infant son of God, that we can finally take selfies sitting on a semi-employed old man's lap in a mall without messing with our street cred.

It's a Christmas miracle!

Willamette Week

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Lizzy Acker

Lizzy Acker

Lizzy Acker is Willamette Week's former web editor. Her first book, Monster Party, came out in 2010. She was born in Oregon, lived in San Francisco for almost eight years and then moved back to Oregon, just like everyone always knew she would.