Jury duty is a little like doing laundry. It's painful but necessary, essential to a functioning society.
Fortunately for the up to 235 prospective Multnomah County jurors called to the courthouse each day, Mayumi Pickett and Randi Davis are attuned to anxiety, fear and boredom. The two women are the public faces of the cavernous jury room, but they are anything but somber.
Pickett, who gives a brief orientation, says her predecessor used humor to calm and entertain prospective jurors. Pickett says she can't tell jokes, so she employs trivia:
The only state with a town called Hell? Michigan.
First state to allow female jurors? Utah, 1898.
The last? Mississippi, 1968.
She and Davis see every kind of person: Some are so intent on serving that they volunteer. One slept through dismissal and couldn't be wakened—a security officer had to pinch the man—and another came back drunk from lunch and had to be escorted from the building. They've seen people find jobs in the jury room, and in at least two cases, they've seen people meet their future spouses.
To pass the time, they hand out board games, puzzles and books. Davis plays bad cop to Pickett's good cop, reminding people they can't leave the jury room or, without permission, the building. She softens her directives with what she calls "Dad jokes."
Here's one of her favorites: A grasshopper walks into a bar. "Hey," the bartender says, "We've got a drink her named after you." "What?" the grasshopper replies. "You've got a drink named Steve?"
The women say they work hard to demystify what can be a confusing and sometimes frightening process, but prospective jurors still overwhelmingly ask the same two questions.
"Where's the restroom?" they want to know. And "when can we go home?"
This Year, More Than Ever, It's Important to Stop and Take Note of Everything That Makes Portland What It Is
Here are the Winners of the Best of Portland Readers' Poll 2017
Here are the Things WW Declared "The Best" in the Last 12 Months
Inside Mall 205, You'll Find Oregon's Last Remaining Magic Shop
Portland's Raging Grannies Have Been Protesting Since the 1960s, And You Do Not Want to Mess With Them
A Vancouver Man Bought Naked Falls Swimming Hole, So He Could Re-Open It to the Public
Rodney Scott Puts On Portland's Greatest Indie Firework Show
Cabel Sasser Found a McDonalds Mural That Led Him to Uncover a Secret Collection of Art
Two College Students Started An Organization to Provide Bras and Underwear to Homeless Women
Jim Hipsher Is Portland's Greatest Live Book of Poetry
These Two Women Make Showing Up for Jury Duty A Lot Less Terrible
On Northeast Broadway, You Can Learn Boxing From Two-Time World Champ Molly "Fearless" McConnell
Portland Urban Golf Makes the Entire Changing City Its Ever-Evolving Personal Golf Course
Did You Know You Can Play a 9-Hole Portland-Themed Mini-Golf Course?
Seven Years Ago, New Trail Blazer Caleb Swanigan Was 360 Pounds and Living in Homeless Shelters
Each Week, a Group Goes to Laurelhurst Park to Throw Axes Through the Air—And They're Really Good
Portland Now Has a Nonprofit That Gives Kids Access to Free Pinball
Marathon Taverna Hosts Portland's Best Late-Night Raffle, Giving Away T-Shirts and 100-Level Blazers Tickets
The City of Portland Made a Sign Reading "Heartbreak Dead Ahead"
There's a Secret, Profit-Free Bookstore "Forest" on Division Street
You Can Get a Pre-Addressed Letter to Trump from Paymaster Lounge's Vending Machine
A Local Business Totally Trolled Willamette Week—And It Was Awesome
The ACLU of Oregon Has Emerged as Portland's Most Consistent Free-Speech Fundamentalists
Division Street's Oregon Theater Is Portland's Greatest NSFW Twitter Account
There's a Library in Vancouver Full of Hundreds of Books That Have Never Been Published, And Never Will Be
Alberta Street's American Legion Post 134 Went Rogue—Inviting Homeless In and Hosting LGBTQ Nights
Beaverton's Spectra Gymnastics Provides Play Spaces for Kids on the Autism Spectrum
There's a Hidden, Underground Sculpture Inside the Standard Insurance Center in Downtown Portland
One of the Oldest Retail Businesses in the City is a 127-Year-Old Woman-Owned Costume Shop—Now, It's in Danger of Closing
In the Portland Area's Wealthiest Neighborhood Lies a Hidden, Public Scottish Garden As Large as the Japanese Garden
The Zymoglyphic Museum is a Self-Contained World of Rogue Taxidermy and Steampunk
Every Sunday, Portland Hosts a Real-Life "Fast and the Furious"
Portland's Best Daycaction is a Cheap Flight to Pendleton, Where the Cowboys Still Walk The Streets
Oregon City's Tim Kovar Is one of the Nation's Foremost Tree-Climbing Experts
Hero Punk Stole the Satyricon Sign and Sold it to VooDoo Doughnut Owner in Exchange for Lifetime Doughnuts
High School Junior Won a Major Science Competition in the World By Investigating Where Portland's Fish Went
Who Do You Call When Your Goat Is Throwing Up? Portland's Go-To Goat Doctor, Of Course
Meet the Portland Poodle Who Dresses Better Than You
Every Saturday, A Train Runs Through Oaks Bottom, Making Birdwatching Actually Fun
Right Now, Three Dogs Living at a Southeast Portland Dispensary Are High on CBD Dog Treats
Feeling Sad Lately? Snuggle Up to One of Portland's Therapy Bunnies
Pet Barn Will Watch Your Boa Constrictor While You're Out of Town, But Not Your Dog
In the '90s, Two Portland Teenagers Aired Old WWF Matches. Now, They Have a Treasure Trove of Wrestling Archives
Portland Science Rapper Coma Niddy Has the Best Rhymes About Black Holes You've Ever Heard
There is a Secret Willamette River Bridge Most Portlanders Have Forgotten Exists
Hero Portland Man Built an 8-Foot Tall Multnomah Falls Out of LEGOs
There's An Alley in North Portland Where Robots Will Call Out To You
Daddy Mojo's Has the Finest Gallery of Signed Celebrity Memorabilia of Any Bar in Portland
Portland's Black Book Guitars Owner Has Tracked Down Guitars from Elliot Smith and Kurt Cobain
Thank God for the Los Cactus Food Cart, Which, For 14 Years Has Fed Junkyard Customers for Cheap
Two Portlanders Created a Willy Wonka-Style Edible Forest Near Milwaukie
Portland's Best Bagelmaker Was Saved By Someone in Line at WinCo—Now, He's Repaying Strangers' Kindness
You and Your Friends Can Drink for Free for an Hour on Your Birthday at This Portland Bar
The Portland-Area Finally Has Hong Kong-Style Ice Cream Bubble Waffles
Yes, There Is a Place in Portland Where You Can Try Witches' Brews and Heal Yourself with a Fire Pit
Portland's Best Fritters Come From Donut Queen on 58th and East Burnside
When a Pro-Trump Rally Came to Portland, a Good Samaritan Helped Calm the Tension By Handing Out Free Weed
If You Haven't Noticed Yet, the Trail Blazers Twitter Account is on Fire
The New Market of Choice On Belmont Has The Very Best Grocery Store Beer Selections We've Ever Seen
Yes, There a Secret Underground Bowling Alley in the Center of Portland
When Portland Saw Snowstorms, the National Weather Service Twitter Became Our 24/7 Therapist