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Is there a citywide gardening organization in the Portland metro area that monitors what time we go to sleep? I'm about to take a 4 pm nap, and there's a leaf blower outside my apartment window! I thought they only worked at the crack of dawn.
—Irritable Insomniac
I'm not unsympathetic to your plight, Irritable—nothing ruins a three-day coke binge like the appearance of power tools just when you're ready to crash. Unfortunately, our shared indignation mostly means that we're pampered First World a-holes.
Like most Portlanders, we go through life believing we have a God-given right never to be inconvenienced or annoyed by anything (I'm expecting a backlash against secondhand gluten any day now), and we react with chagrin whenever our entitlement butts up against reality.
The truth is, the city of Portland has bent over backward to protect you from leaf blowers. For starters, they're completely prohibited in residential areas between the hours of 7 pm and 7 am. (I admit 4 am to 4 pm would be a lot better, but it's a start.)
Moreover, the Noise Control Office has devoted God knows how many man hours to compiling a list of leaf blowers—by brand name and model number—that do not exceed the municipally mandated noise limit of 65 decibels. (They do bump it up to 70 decibels from November through February because, hey, wet leaves.)
This list is available to the public and makes, as you might imagine, gripping reading. Perhaps you could find a niche as a new type of neighborhood crank by printing it and challenging every leaf-blower-wielding worker you see.
Of course, you could always just acknowledge that the price of living in a civil society is tolerating occasional irritation. Just kidding!
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WWeek 2015
