The Drinker's Bible

What God really needed on the seventh day was a stiff drink. So in the year 2002 he made the journey to Oregon, where recently it had been deemed acceptable to go to the liquor store on the Sabbath. And, because there were several other tired souls in front of him, he waited in line for his box of spirits. Whether it's due to the economy, or the advent of even more malt-flavored beverages, consumption of alcohol is way up in Oregon (250 million bottles--6.5 percent over last year). Perhaps He should have headed straight to one of His favorite drinking establishments. That's what we did.

What follows is an easy-to-navigate bible of more than 150 blessed drinking establishments.

They are arranged thus:

1. Name of establishment: Listed in alphabetical order.

2. Address, phone number, hours and days open: Handy, useful and informative.

3. Heavenly Virtue: Why this place rocks.

4. Cardinal Sin: Where this place could use some spiritual guidance.

5. Description: All about the bar and its extras.

6. Bible quote: Captures the essence of a place in an easy-to-memorize Bible verse.

In addition to the holy watering holes, this guide offers "Wine On".

One caution: This guide may be of little use to you while praying on your knees at the porcelain temple. That's between you and your Maker's Mark.

Apart from that, go forth with our blessing and let thy vision multiply!

These also reel with wine

and stagger with strong drink;

the priest and the prophet reel

with strong drink,

they are confused with wine;

they stagger with strong drink;

they err in vision,

they stumble in giving

judgment.

All tables are covered with filthy

vomit;

no place is clean.

--Isaiah 28:7-8

Byron Beck
Regular Job

Job:
Byron Beck

The Apostles:
Caryn B. Brooks
Nick Budnick
James A. Buonantuono
Kelly Clarke
Kim B. Colton
Zach Dundas
Elizabeth Dye
Teresa Freeman
Abram Goldman-Armstrong
John Graham
Ariel Hansen
Stacy Ison
Chris Lydgate
Becky Ohlsen
Otis Rubottom
Brittany L. Schaeffer John Schrag
Margaret Seiler Katherine Sharpe
Steffen Silvis
Britta West

Queen of Sheba:
Alison Hughes

Job's Comforters & Copy Editors:
Matt Buckingham
Ian Gillingham
Margaret Seiler
Kieran O'Brien
Lara Mendicino

Nazareth's House Photographer:
Jason Landis

Designers of the Golden Calf:
Anne Reeser
Jesse Woodruff
Jason Landis
Thomas Cobb
Amy Ryan
Peter Shultz
Frank Zurbano
Kendon Gray
Shawna Mckeown

WWeek 2015