WWeed Grow-Off Week 5

On July 1, recreational weed became legal in Oregon. That means is that everyone can now legally grow up to four marijuana plants. Here at Willamette Week, we were so excited that we decided to have an old-fashioned office grow-off. All of our plants started the same size and they are all the P-91 strain, but each department elected to grow their plants in different ways. 

During Week 5, the sales teams' plant received a hand-me-down piece of charity from the kind people in the arts and culture section, whose plant is flourishing on the roof, in the bright sun. Meanwhile the events team said a lot of things we didn't quite understand and that made us afraid. The production crew's plant has at least one fan, but the news plant, Reggie, is probably unpopular and socially awkward around the other plants.

See previous weeks here.

SALES: Bootsy

The sales team has repurposed Arts and Culture plant Candis Cannabis' old home for Bootsy. 

EVENTS: Liz Ka-leaf-ah

Another technical report from the events team: "While it doesn't look like much, Liz is undergoing significant change as we have just switched her into a flowering light cycle. This means our light is running 12 hours a day as opposed to 18. She is now off the Botanicare CNS17 for Veg and is being switched over to Botanicare CNS17 Bloom for flower."

ACCOUNTING: Addi

The report from accounting: "Addi has fully recovered from her file cabinet fever and is flourishing in her new home. She's graduated to the downstairs publisher closet which she shares with all the leftover, dusty event booze. She's been transferred into a large air pot with a layer of Subcool Super Soil on the bottom (Google the recipe—it rocks!). We have suspended our light from boxes of old accounting files and a ladder. Heat management continues to be an issue, but Addi is happily growing like a weed once again."

NEWS: Reggie

News intern Emily Volpert, in an email: ZE ACTUALLY GREW MULTIPLE INCHES!!!

Me: HOW MANY?

Volpert: The news interns are proud to announce that Reggie has grown XX (I don't have a ruler—do you know where I could find one?) inches in the past week. 

Me: (internal thoughts) Your plant is puny and would probably wear nerd glasses if it was a human. 

ARTS AND CULTURE: Candis Cannabis

Candis has taken to drinking. On average she guzzles a full watering can and two Nalgenes a day. 

ART: Oscar De La Juana

 The art department uses a fan made for fairies. 

WWeek 2015