Skip to main content
Let me start with this: I like Laurie Notaro. Laurie Notaro has written great things for this newspaper and for the world in general. Laurie Notaro has good taste in food and other things.
But Laurie is talking out of school in her recent piece for Phoenix New Times, in which she slams the Portland food scene to make a point about how good the Phoenix food scene has gotten.
Laurie goes on to make several other points: That Phoenix has the best Mexican food in the country, that Phoenix food has come a long way and that in Phoenix every casual meal is good, while Portland is expensive.
Where to start?
Well, how about Eugene—where Laurie lives. Eugene is not Portland. It's our Tucson. People in Tucson may not reasonably have hot takes about Phoenix food, takes which run contrary to what everyone else says based on living a few hours away. Why would Eugene be different? Unless you're living in Portland, please don't assess our food scene.
It's been a few years since I've been to Eugene, so I'll be circumspect in my commentary. But it's, uh, not quite Portland. It lacks some of the, errr, amenities. Eugene is a good place to drink a beer called Mouth Raper and eat Mexican-Korean fusion food from a cart about a decade after that was a thing. But it's not Portland.
Now to Phoenix: I lived in Phoenix for five years, though I haven't been back for three now. Nevertheless, I understand that hip Phoenicians tend to be both defensive and deprecating about their city. So I do appreciate Laurie telling them to buck up and appreciate what they have. I don't agree that their Mexican food is better than L.A., but it's really, really fucking good. Truly, you can get Mexican that's better than anything available in Portland on pretty much any corner between the 17, Country Club, Shea and Baseline. I crave Carolina's on a weekly basis.
But it's the other part of Laurie's arguments that fall flat:
The thing is, that's Portland. We're the Kings of Mid-Range Dining.
Not Mexican (NOOOOOOOT MEXICAN!) but certainly Indian, pizza and the other things she mentioned.
Out in Hillsboro, get Indian at a place called Chennai Masala, which can take the Pepsi challenge with anything they have in Scottsdale. if you want a hot dog, we have OP Wurst—the best hotdogs you're going to get anywhere on the west coast. We also have fantastic ramen for $10 a bowl. And crazy good sandwiches that get delivered to your house at 3 am and amazing pizza. (Suck it Phoenix: Pizzeria Bianco would not be a top five spot here!)
Sure, if you go to the spots that've been hyped up by tourists, you'll have a meh meal. I could go a very long time without eating another sandwich from Lardo, Shut Up and Eat or Country Cat. But I don't have to—because we have so much other amazing food.
Like Poke Mon or Hat Yai or, shit, Reel M' Inn.
The next time you're in town, Laurie, you drop me a line. We'll take you out. We'll feed you. You're part of the family here. We have good stuff, for cheap, and we'll get it for you.
But, hey, didja happen to bring back any machaca with flour tortillas?