$1 Sloppy Joe's at Gil's Speakeasy.

$3 rotating craft pint special at the Vern (2622 SE Belmont St., 503-233-7851).

$5 margherita pizza at Life of Pie (3632 N Williams Ave., 503-719-7321, lifeofpiepizza.com). Get it before 6 pm, and a draft craft is a mere $3. Also, a mute tiger stares at you the entire time you eat.

$9.99 surf and turf steak and lobster dinner at Spyce, an Old Town strip club you probably first heard about from a dude who handed you a flyer on the street.

$5 lunchtime fish and chips at $1 off fish dishes all day, plus $5 Fireball shots at the Yukon Tavern (5819 SE Milwaukie Ave., 503-235-6352, yukontavern.com).

Half-off a bottle of wine with two entrees at EastBurn. This is what date nights are like when you're married.

Ridiculously Cheap Deals for Every Day of the Week: Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday | Friday | Saturday | Sunday