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What happens when four girl idiots travel from Portland to Bend to see Boygenius? Tears. Tears happen. But the good, “I’m having a religious experience right now” kind of tears. So, if you plan to catch Phoebe Bridgers, Lucy Dacus and Julien Baker at any point during their 2023 world tour—i.e., if you want to be enlightened—heed this advice.
1. Prepare yourself for the fact they might (kind of rudely) play two or three of your faves back to back.
If I were in Boygenius—I can dream, OK?—I would have spaced out the most popular songs throughout the set just a teeny bit more than they did at the Bend show. I feel like that’s kind of an unwritten concert rule.
The show began offstage with the track that kicks off The Record—”Without You Without Them”—a melodic, a capella song whose lyrics read like the most thoughtful album dedication you’ve ever heard. And then, after some (read: a lot) of screaming—the boys went straight into “$20.” And then “Satanist.” Then “Emily I’m Sorry.” And then, this, in my opinion, was their biggest crime: “True Blue” followed immediately by “Cool About It.” I’m sorry but…can you give me some time to collect myself? I’m just a girl. And playing them both at sunset while a perfect pink hue fills the sky behind the stage? It was all too much.
But, now that I’m reevaluating, maybe all of their songs are just…equally as good and well-loved. Most bands have a flop or two to sprinkle in. But Boygenius just…doesn’t? Maybe that’s what happened there. So…I take it all back. It was perfect.
2. Take it easy on the cocktail of the show.”
I know. It’s so ridiculously cute of them to have a “cocktail of the show” called “Me & My Paloma” after “Me & My Dog” with a sweet little photo of them on it. Like…I so get it. But take it from someone who didn’t notice the boys’ warning—”it’s a double”—until after the fact and may have had one too many during openers Illuminati Hotties and Carly Rae Jepsen (who, I can confirm, is still slaying “Call Me Maybe”) and just…chill.
3. For all my serotonin-challenged girlies out there: Be warned that your antidepressants may betray you.
Listen, if you’re a Boygenius stan…there’s a pretty good chance you’re on some sort of antidepressant. Or you should be. I don’t make the rules. I mean, have you listened to “We’re in Love”? That kind of lyrical genius is not for the weak.
So, let’s say, super hypothetically, that your, erm, 10 mg of Lexapro just doesn’t quite allow you to have that perfectly satisfying cry to “Cool About It” that you so badly wanted and deserved. I am here to tell you that is OK. Everyone at the Hayden Homes Amphitheater was having some sort of religious experience last Sunday night…no matter how they showed it. Plus, my friend Elle cried (read: sobbed) enough for all of us who could not. So, there’s that.
4. Wear whatever the fuck you want.
No outfit-referencing-your-favorite-song is too corny. No outfit is too casual or too dressy. No skeleton T-shirt or red tie is too much. Everyone will be wearing Doc Martens…but that’s OK, and you can too. The energy at Boygenius was so nonjudgmental and girls-supporting-girls (and by girls I just mean any Boygenius fan).
5. Yes, you’re allowed to acknowledge your heterosexuality.
Another thing about a Boygenius stan, in addition to the likely SSRI prescription and the practically glued-to-their-feet Doc Martens, is that they’re probably gonna be gay. But, Boygenius does in fact accept boyfriends. They even said so themselves!
Phoebe’s “Who’s got a boyfriend?” was met with some hesitation by the crowd. But then, she assured, “Oh, come on, we love boyfriends! Don’t be afraid…raise your hands, boyfriends! We love you, this is for you.” Then they started playing “Boyfriends,” an outtake from The Record, which they debuted earlier on in the tour. “Everything else is for the lesbians,” Baker added.
But, I will say, as much as I do love my boyfriend—and the fact that Phoebe Bridgers would also probably love, or at least accept, my boyfriend—a girls’ trip to see Boygenius is healing in the same way that seeing Greta Gerwig’s Barbie is. If you don’t immediately get that, I can’t help you.