Skip to main contentClawing her way to the top of the corporate ladder was always job No. 1 for Carmen Coptke. A talented networker who practiced radical efficiency, she was known for her deft ability to dodge scheduling conflicts and for her expert multitasking technique. In an attempt to become the foremost avatar of productivity, she had her DNA surgically spliced with the chromosomes of an HP 289000 photocopier. Yes, the operation gave CC the power to duplicate herself for just 7 cents per copy, but, in an ironic twist of fate, it also left her with a stomach-churning disgust for the office world (the kind of nausea only an office appliance would know). Rechristening herself as Calendar Chick, and armed with the knowledge that "work sucks and play rules," she uses her superpowers for fun, not profit. With a powerful roster of arts, music and other events at her disposal, Coptke and her legion of carbon copies wage a nuclear assault against the doldrums of the year's hottest, sweatiest season. Calendar Chick WILL divide and conquer every party this summer!
Arts Aces to the Rescue!
A TV Guide to getting out and about on the Portland arts scene.
By Johanna Droubay
Though many arts superheroes will put away their jet-powered pointe shoes and fire-slinging violas for the summer months, a gallant few will carry on, fighting the good fight against mainstream monotony. Don't miss out on the action when four of Portland's bravest super posses go head-to-head with your commercial-length attention span.
Super posse: Chamber Music Northwest
Episode title: 35th Anniversary Summer Festival
Airdate: June 27-July 31
Plot summary: A whopping 28 concerts, free lectures, open rehearsals, art exhibitions and film screenings send contemporary music fests running home to cry to their teenage mommies.
Nemesis: American Idols Live!
Super posse: Portland Center Stage Episode title: Just Add Water/West Playwrights Festival
Air Date: July 15-17
Plot summary: The forces of up-and-coming playwrights, actors, directors, dramaturgs and stage technicians unite to turn fledgling works-in-progress into drama that packs a punch. Be the first to witness plays that may go on to win acclaim in galaxies far, far away-like New York and Chicago.
Nemesis: Disney's On the Record, a new musical featuring more than 50 Disney songs and zero dialogue.
Super posse: Solo Flamenco Episode title: Portland Flamenco Festival
Air Date: July 20-24
Plot summary: Never before in the history of flamenco fests has there been such a bitchin' bash as will descend upon our quiet town this July. Don't just grab a seat: grab your guitar, your dancing shoes and your cajon (drum). Classes on everything from flamenco culture to playing the palmas, plus films, lectures and special performances, make for a super-sized good time.
Nemesis: Dancing with the Stars on ABC.
Super posse: Oregon Ballet Theatre Episode title: OBT Exposed!
Air Date: Aug. 29-Sept. 3
Plot summary: No nudity, but plenty of open-air balancing acts in this annual unleashing of OBT's bendy band of dance-masters. Watch the troupe rehearse for its upcoming season while you picnic in the park. Think "ballet theatre" sounds like the stuffiest stuff since lit theory? Try it al fresco: It's free and comes with loads of legroom. At last, peace shall reign across the land!
Nemesis: 2005 NPC Bodybuilding Championships.
Stay tuned for the month of September, when the arts turn against each other and the fighting gets ugly. Art in the Pearl battles AFFAIR @ the Jupiter to see whose collection is the heartiest. Can Miracle Theatre's Elliot, A Soldier's Fugue outwit Underneath the Lintel at Portland Center Stage? What kind of black magic will PICA conjure up at this year's Time-Based Art festival? It's a bird, it's a plane, it's...Bandaloop's vertical dancers, hanging precariously from the St. Johns Bridge! Will Portland Taiko's Trading Thunder come to their rescue? Or will the Oregon Symphony's Lord of the Rings concert foil them all? To be continued....
For more events, as well as venue and ticket information, see the Summer Events Calendar on page 60.
Fantastic...five?!?
There are a ton of movies out this summer, but only a few worth looking forward to.
By DAVID WALKER
Summertime is the best time for going to movies. When it's hot outside, even superheroes might appreciate the air-conditioned coolness of a movie theater. But just because you're trying to avoid a case of heat stroke doesn't mean you have to endure the insipid studio releases that lurk in cinemas this time of year. There are some great movies coming to town this summer-both inside and outside.
Land of the Dead
Forget George Lucas and his craptacular Star Wars. The real movie to get excited about this summer comes from the other George-Romero, that is. The man who reinvented the horror genre with 1968's Night of the Living Dead returns to the world of flesh-eating zombies with his latest horrific vision. Even if it were the worst film of the year (actually, it's one of the best-see page 55), we could still paraphrase all those fans of Lucas: "But it's George Romero!" Opens June 24.
Me and You and Everyone We Know
Hitting it big at Sundance and Cannes, former Portland artist Miranda July has become the It girl with her indie hit. A quirky character study that examines intersecting lives in Los Angeles, July's film is the perfect antidote to the bombastic movies that crowd local multiplexes. Opens July 1.
Fantastic Four
OK, in all honesty this comic book-turned-movie doesn't look that good. But what would a summer movie list be without at least one bloated, big-budget studio release? We could have included War of the Worlds, but we all know how that one ends. We considered Charlie and the Chocolate Factory on the list, but Johnny Depp is no Gene Wilder. Herbie: Fully Loaded? Fuhgetaboutit. At least this offers Michael Chiklis as the ever-lovin' blue-eyed Thing. Opens July 8.
Hustle and Flow
One of the breakout hits of this year's Sundance Film Festival, writer-director Craig Brewer's emotionally complex tale of a small-time pimp who decides to chase his dreams of musical greatness is one of the best films of the year. With all the undeserved praise for Russell Crowe's uninspiring performance in Cinderella Man, the real Oscar-worthy turn is by Terrence Howard. And the soundtrack kicks ass. Opens July 13.
Top Down Outdoor Films
There's nothing quite like watching films under a blanket of stars. This returning summer series screens an eclectic mix of classics atop the parking garage of the Mallory Hotel (Southwest 15th Avenue and Yamhill Street) on Thursdays from July 28 until Aug. 25. Among the highlights are Woody Allen's all-time classic Sleeper, John Waters' Polyester, and the timeless cinematic treasure Death Race 2000. For more information, got to www.nwfilm.org.
The Shake-It League to the rescue
Five bands that will save you from the summertime blues.
By Mark Baumgarten
If you're gonna sweat through the summer, you might as well sweat profusely while moving your feet to some local music. But where to go to slake your thirst for a booty-shake with so many buzzkills bearing down? Where can you turn when Apathy Ape and Rhythm Les have stolen your last remnants of pogo power 'til your jerk just don't work? Take heart, Portlander, because Calendar Chick has searched deep within the bowels of an unnamed dancehall to find your beat-wielding heroes: The Shake-It League of Slabtown.
The Serious One Portland General Electro
When the gentlemen of Portland General Electro take the stage, it's all business, complete with PowerPoint presentations, clipboards and tirelessly churning electro beats. These two beatophiles will have you sweating like you're working in a Chinese shoe factory. And you will like it.
The Sexy One The Snuggle Ups
Liam and Brett might look like normal disheveled Portland hipsters by day, but by night they turn into a furiously dancing duo that possesses the rare element boyradium. Paired with their obscenely feel-good lyrics and bursting beats, the boyradium commands you to dance, feel good about yourself and share the love.
The Joyful One Shicky Gnarowitz and the Transparent Wings of Joy
A master of the tanzenthrone technique (known to modern folk as "musical chairs"), Shicky Gnarowitz and the Transparent Wings of Joy cast a spell that causes those exposed to run in circles and laugh uncontrollably while the band plays its frenzied klezmer music.
The Soulful One Liv Warfield
Warfield's powers are twofold. At first, she simply hypnotizes her crowds, stalking the stage as her honeyed vocals and churning neo-soul coax the comatose into movement. And if that doesn't work, well, she'll just stop the music and shame you into it.
The Drunk One The Hunches
The Hunches' power is an unconventional one, but, for some, the only respite from boredom. If your idea of dancing is throwing beer and devil horns while dodging the obviously drunk lead singer's lunges, then this is the summer-fun band for you.
Super Reads for Summer!
Recommendations for the burnt-out bookworm.
By Johanna Droubay
We've seen you at Powell's, scratching your head trying to decide whether to pick up some classic tome you were supposed to read in college or to just re-read The Da Vinci Code. Listen carefully: Put the Dan Brown down and back away from the "B" section. And no, that doesn't mean it's time to take up Proust. What you need is a break. Even superheroes can't live without their hot-off-the-corporate-presses beach read. Granted, you might not want to read some of these titles while lounging at the coast. (We suggest you peruse The Devil's Teeth during your desert trip, while Raw Food/Real World might better serve you at your oceanside kitchenette.) Whatever your superpower, switch it off for a spell and lose yourself in a good book.
FAshionisto's Pick
Freddy and Fredericka by Mark Helprin ( Penguin Press, July 7).
The prince and princess of Wales get their golden hair and ruffled collars dirty riding freight trains, stealing art, fighting fires and politicking in the U.S.A. Satirical Novel
Captain Adventure's Pick
The Devil's Teeth: A True Story of Survival and Obsession among America's Great White Sharks by Susan Casey (Henry Holt and Company, in stores).
Casey's real-life adventure is better than fiction. She narrowly escaped a shark attack or two to tell this tale of her stay in a haunted house on the deserted Southeast Farallon Island. Nonfiction
The WonderTwins' Pick
Raw Food/Real World: 100 Simple to Sophisticated Recipes by Matthew Kenney and Sarma Melngailis (Regan Books, July 1).
OK, we know: You've heard the raw-food spiel before. But wait-don't touch that dial! Does that ratty raw-food paperback you picked up from the thrift store (or better yet-the '70s) include a recipe for zucchini and green zerba tomato lasagna? Or dark chocolate ganache tart with black mint ice cream? Sexy. (Un)Cookbook
Calendar Chicks's Pick
The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova (Little, Brown, in stores).
Vampires! Mass casualties! A hot 16-year-old heroine! Bibliology! It all starts with a blank book found in diplomat Dad's office bearing the ominous title Drakulya. Historical Novel
The Martha's Pick
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by J.K. Rowling (Scholastic, July 16).
Mum's the word. One printer, GGP Printing Works, has hired a private security force of 40 to prevent the leakage of even a single word before this book's publication date. Think you know which character's going to bite the pixie dust this time around? Place your bets at bluesquare.com. Everybody's doing it. Young Adult Fiction
VENUES
Waterfront Blues Festival,
973-3378, www.waterfrontbluesfest.com.
Civil War Reenactment,
www.oregonstateparks.org/park_139.php.
Oregon Country Fair,
(541) 343-4298, WWW.Oregoncountryfair.org.
Highland Games, 293-8501, www.phga.org.
Oregon Brewers Festival,
297-3150, www.oregonbrewfest.com.
Bite of Oregon,
248-0600, www.biteoforegon.com.
Elephant Garlic Festival,
647-2619, www.spiritone.com/~npcoc/elephant.htm.
Hood to Coast Relay Race
292-4626, www.hoodtocoast.com.
Musicfest NW
243-2122 ext. 262, www.musicfestnw.com.
Time-Based Art Festival,
242-1419, www.pica.org/tba2005/.
AFFAIR @ the Jupiter
www.affair-jupiterhotel.com.
Portland Juggling Festival
249-1135, www.portlandjugglers.com.
For more events, as well as venue and ticket information, see the Summer Events Calendar, page 60.
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WWeek 2015