Portland, please put your clothes back on.
We know you desperately want to. You've spent this historically scorching summer splayed in front of your jerry-rigged swamp cooler, regretting all the times you prayed for sunshine to interrupt the endless rain and wondering if you'd ever feel comfortable wearing anything other than your underwear again.
Well, peel yourself off the couch. It's almost fall, and Portland is finally getting its chill back. And as the meme says, now you can really start dressing.
But if spending the past three months sweating half-naked in your living room has left you with fashion ennui, don't worry—we've got your inspiration right here.
For our Style Issue, we've flung open Portland's collective closet. And while this city has its share of fashionistas and hypebeasts, the coolest stuff is often hidden in the corners you might never think to look.
Sure, we started by visiting our favorite new boutiques, where you'll find the hottest streetwear and chicest accessories, along with retro Nike gear, stoner tees, boob-shaped necklaces and old-school NBA jerseys.
But we also went digging through the Goodwill Bins, where one avant-garde fashion collective finds everything from soccer nets to industrial freezer suits and turns them into wild, wearable art.
We also poked around local strip-club dressing rooms and talked to the only designer in town making custom outfits exclusively for exotic dancers—because even people who undress for a living want something awesome to take off.
Heck, we even raided your mom and dad's closet for a guide to "parent-core," the hot new trend that's brought fanny packs, chunky tennis shoes and high-waisted jeans back in vogue.
And if you're still not sure what to wear, we've put together a calendar of upcoming fashion events, so you can spot the latest looks before they even hit the streets.
So shake off that heat stroke. It's getting dark, cold and wet again, which we all know is much more Portland's style. And that means it's time to show off yours.