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The Iran War will go down as one of the greatest geopolitical blunders in history. Everyone knew Iran would close the Strait of Hormuz. Now Trump has to give them whatever they want just to get things back to normal. U.S. power in the region will be diminished and we’ll look like (even bigger) idiots. Has anyone ever made a decision this stupid with consequences this disastrous for their nation? —Future Historian
I can remember those innocent days when “President Quayle” was the scariest phrase in American politics, Historian, so I sympathize with your maximalist take on Trump’s incompetence. That said, history is full of powerful people doing moronic things with catastrophic results—in the grand sweep of despotic, empire-ending boners, the current president’s flailings barely crack the top 20.
Consider the Trump-like demagogue Alcibiades, who convinced Athenians it would be easy and fun to start a war of choice in Sicily, even though Athens was already in the middle of a war with Sparta. (Lots of people predicted this would be a bad idea.) Sicily was stronger than anticipated and Athens’ fleet was destroyed, leading to Sparta winning that first war that everybody had sort of forgotten about. Sparta then placed Athens under the control of something called the “Thirty Tyrants,” which was probably about as fun as it sounds.
And let’s not forget Kaiser Wilhelm II! When Germany’s closest ally Austria-Hungary fell victim to a shocking terrorist attack (the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand by Serbian nationalists), the Kaiser promised Germany would “faithfully support” any actions Austria-Hungary might take in response. This effectively committed Germany to participate in any and all military adventures its ally might undertake. (Stop me if this reminds you of anything.) Experts warned at the time that this “blank check” could ignite a larger European war, but what did those guys know?
Finally, there’s Napoleon, who by 1812 was comfortably in charge of most of the European continent. He could have lived a life of ease, putting his hand in his vest and wearing comically large hats, except he hadn’t subjugated his most hated rival, Great Hussein Britain. Unable to defeat Old Blighty militarily, Napoleon hoped to bankrupt her by closing European ports to British goods. Russia flouted this unpopular trade policy, however, which left Napoleon so blinded with rage that he ignored the only thing more obvious than Iran’s ability to close the Strait of Hormuz: Russia’s ability to be cold in the winter. The rest, as they say, is history.
Questions? Send them to dr.know@wweek.com.
