The Name Game

You Ain't A Player Until You've Got A Handle.

A basketball player without a nickname is like pizza without cheese or Def Leppard without the one-armed drummer: It'll do, but it could be so much better.

To that end, WW has embarked on an exhaustive, season-long search to name one of the Trail Blazers' newest players, No. 44, Channing Frye. Frye is a Blazer who routinely receives the kind of Portland love normally reserved for goofy players with thick accents, like Arvydas Sabonis and Ha Seung-Jin. Frye has yet to achieve his potential on the court (averaging a little over six points and four rebounds per game this season), but he certainly loves his new city. "I can wear shorts and sandals and just sit down and watch the interesting people go up and down the street," he said at an early Blazers press conference. A fishing enthusiast who has repeatedly expressed interest in Portland's quirks, Frye has done his best to fit in, sharing favorite recipes with this month's issue of Edible Portland magazine and promising to send awards to Portland's weirdest citizens via his blog (channingfrye.com/blog).

All of which is fine and dandy, but the man still needs a nickname. In college, Frye was sometimes referred to as C-Money, but he shrugs it off—not a creative enough nickname. He also coined his own amazing nickname at an early press conference: The Buffet of Goodness. But that one is just too long. So WW went straight to the source for more suggestions.

Channing Frye: (Shrugs) I don't know, man. Ask my teammates and see what they come up with. We'll figure it out from there.

James Jones: Crinkle Cut. He's a different type of guy. He's not a straight fry, he's not a curly fry—he's a crinkle fry. Crinkle Cut French Frye.

Frye: (Laughing) Crinkle Cut? Keep searching. The only thing I got for you is, tell the guys Channing said to refer to him as Masta Killa. See what the reaction is.

Martell Webster: HAAA HAA! Masta Killa?

Jarrett Jack: We're not calling him that. We'll call him Home Frye.

Home Frye. Rolls off the tongue, fits Channing's personality. It isn't bad. But in case it doesn't catch on, WW has compiled this list of other suggestions:

  1. Tater Tot
  2. Frenchy
  3. Snuggle Up
  4. Channery Row
  5. Yes We Chan
  6. UnChanny
  7. Frye Up
  8. Friday Night Fish Frye
  9. Fryer Dunk
  10. I Channot Tell a Frye

Suggest your own nicknames in the comments below!

EAT WITH HIM:

Breakfast with Blazer Channing Frye to benefit the Multiple Sclerosis Society. Oregon Zoo Cascade Crest Banquet Center, 4001 SW Canyon Road, 220-2789. 7:30-9 am Monday, March 31. $45 and up. Purchase tickets at 223-9511 or defeatms.com. Home fries will be served.

WWeek 2015

Casey Jarman

Casey Jarman is a freelance editor and writer based in East Portland, Oregon. He has served as Music Editor at Willamette Week and Managing Editor at The Believer magazine, where he remains a contributing editor. He is currently working on his first book. It's about death.

Willamette Week’s reporting has real-life impact that changes laws, forces action by civic leaders, and drives compromised politicians from public office.

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