MediGreen & Lucky Devil
633 SE Powell Blvd., 503-206-7350, luckydevillounge.com. 11 am-2:30 am daily.
Don't worry, MediGreen is not a medical shop—it's a little taste of California here in Oregon. Lucky Devil, at the eastern end of the Ross Island Bridge, is home to probably the finest strip-club patio in Portland—all the better to suck down $3 wells and drafts with a $4 happy-hour quarter-pounder.
Foster Buds & Devil's Point
5305 SE Foster Road, 503-774-4513, devilspointbar.com. 11 am-2:30 am daily.
Foster Buds has a wide selection of well-priced concentrates. A cartridge of concentrated Blueberry is the perfect pregame for Devil's Point. Even people who "don't go to strip clubs" go to Devil's Point. Why? The beautiful spectacle of some of Portland's most acrobatic and dedicated performers has a lot of crossover with the burlesque crowd, but stripparaoke especially brings in the tourists.
Gräs & Sassy's
927 SE Morrison St., 503-231-1606, sassysbar.com. 10:30 am-2:30 am daily.
Hyper-efficient and conveniently located Gräs is right by some of our favorite bars in Portland, including our beloved Sassy's, one of the few strip bars in Portland where everything is good. The dancers are pro—and they pretty much run the place—the back patio is relaxing, and the beer taps are voluminous, good and cheap. Sassy's selection leans toward slim, heavily tattooed dancers doing gold-medal pole work and big, piney IPAs.
Serra & Kit Kat Club
231 SW Ankeny St., 503-208-3229. 5 pm-2:30 am daily.
Serra is arguably the bougiest cannabis shop in Portland. Meanwhile, downtown's Kit Kat Club is as "Bad and Boujee" as they get—dancers might come out in roller skates or with a snake. The tables are set up like it's dinner theater. This club is also perhaps the most dancer-empowered and lady-dominated spot in town.
7417 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-287-8900, piratescoveportland.com. 2 pm-2 am daily.
Panacea is the most stylish shop on the end of Northeast Sandy Boulevard's Green Mile. Meanwhile, Pirate's Cove is the sort of rough-edged neighborhood stirpper dive we've come to appreciate after the loss of Magic Garden and Nicolai Clubhouse. This 80-year-old bar makes its bones off video lottery and a busy smoking patio. Dancers are of natural body types and sometimes wear sneakers.