The need for strong, independent local journalism
is more urgent than ever. Please support the city we
love by joining Friends of Willamette Week.

Haven’t Had the Slow Burger at Slow Bar? Then You Don’t Really Even Live Here

There is no bar burger that has sustained more loyalty in Portland.

533 SE Grand Ave., 503-230-7767, slowbar.net. 11:30 am-2:30 am daily. Happy hour 3-6 pm Monday-Friday, midnight-2:30 am Sunday-Thursday: $6 non-Slowburger burger, $6 ceviche.

Established: July 2004

Since Slow Bar opened in the central east side in 2004, it has been known to every bartender in town for stiff drinks, deep booths, a jukebox stacked with metal, and that towering beer-battered-onion-ring Slowburger ($12 with fries), cooked on a flat-top that has seasoned over time into something that might even be subtlety. Have you had the Slowburger only at Slowburger, the adjunct burger spot at the Ocean food mall on Northeast Glisan Street? Then you haven't had the Slowburger.

There is no bar burger that has sustained more loyalty in Portland through multiple generations of back-of-bar line cooks, and no burger that could more justify its place in our hearts. It is the unholy monster of Portland bar burgers, the behemoth that made even fancy-restaurant burgermakers take note. And yes, its towering construction makes it tenuous. The Thrillist website's national burger critic, Kevin Alexander, declared it too unwieldy for his presumably tiny hands. But Portland is not a welcome place for short-fingered vulgarians.

Bar story: Slow Bar's Belgian sour Duchesse de Bourgogne on tap seems to be part of a neighborhood trend. Down the street, Dig A Pony has a perma-tap of Petrus, and now Bit House has a permanent Rodenbach. What Belgian perma-tap will dive bar My Father's Place install, we wonder? (Note: we'd originally said Slow Bar was the first Belgian tap on the street—apparently Dig a Pony got there first.)

Drank: Bar Guide 2017

Welcome to Bar Guide 2017 | Where To Find a Copy of Bar Guide 2017

The 100 Best Bars in Portland | How We Selected Them

Bar of the Year 2017: Bar Casa Vale

2. Century | 3. The Know | 4. Lombard House | 5. The Old Portland

Portland's Party Patios, Porches and Rooftops | Scumbag Breakfasts, Ranked

$6-and-Under Happy Hour Burgers | Portland's Finest Restaurant Bars | Late-Night Happy Hours | $1 Oyster Happy Hour Deals | Best Bar Pizzas | Dope Discount Nachos | Fancy Jell-O Shots | Tapas

Where to Play Shuffleboard | Pinball | Pool Halls