(2788 NW Thurman St., 503-222-9069.)
Choice is a tyrant. At little Slabtown bar Crackerjacks, you never have to make one. For $7, you receive a flight of three Jell-O shots prettier than some birthday cakes—three-deep ginned- or vodka'd-up versions of strawberry cheesecake, orange cream, banana coconut cream or Key lime, gussied up with various combinations of sprinkles, cookie crumbs and whipped cream.
(4057 N Mississippi Ave., 503-284-6669, interurbanpdx.com.)
Did you, sir and madam, wish your Jell-O shot to come with a spoon? As a fine Negroni featuring Aperol? A Pollyanna cocktail featuring grenadine, lemon and pineapple? A gelatin shot that is mixed as a Manhattan, complete with bitters? Well, here you are. How very civilized.
(3356 SE Belmont St.)
Aalto serves its fancy-pants Jell-O cocktails in highball form at happy hour, with a $3 grapefruity paloma that that more than justifies its expense with a wealth of tequila, alongside daily specials that might include flower liqueurs and enough gin that you can taste that it's top shelf.
(6129 NE Fremont St.)
At Cully bar Mad Hanna, party drinks are taken very seriously: Screwdrivers are fresh-squeezed, Jell-O comes in exotic flavors shot with Pop Rocks, and the puddin' shots come with whipped cream, just like God intended when the world was made.
(639 SE Morrison St.)
For the discerning vegan who would like a marrow-free gelatin, filled with booze and mixed to taste like a kamikaze cocktail, Southeast Morrison Street punk dive Star Bar's totally got your (Jell-O) back.
(14 NE 22nd Ave.)
At the Standard—and at very few other bars in this world—the Jell-O shot is $1 and remains so even with a mouth-cracklin', vaguely terrifying quantity of Pop Rocks added to the top. This makes it, perhaps, the cheapest thrill in town.