Expand February 12, 2020 at 5:01 am PST
Wheels of Justice, an all-star team representing the best of the best from Portland's Rose City Rollers league, won its fourth International Women's Flat Track Derby Association Championship trophy in five years, steamrolling opposing teams from Australia, Argentina, Canada and all over the U.S. 1. Because we're creating new neighborhoods… 2. Because we made voting even easier… 3. Because a doomed building is now a temporary work of art… 4. Because we're still No. 1 in semi-factual superlatives… 5. Because you can finally get a beer for less than $10 at Moda Center… 6. Because our news anchors don't take crap from internet trolls… 7. Because University of Portland continues to turn out some of the best women's soccer players in the world… 8. Because we are the champions of cyclocross… 9. … and roller derby… 10. … and air guitar… 11. Because we're turning wastewater into beer… 12. … and beer into exercise… 13. Because a local punk legend is holding a permanent rummage sale in the basement of a record shop… 14. Because we let you stop and smell the weed… 15. Because we're a world hub for slap-tagging… 16. Because even Texans are impressed by our barbecue… 17. … and you can get almost any style of pizza here… 18. … and also, we've perfected the soy curl… 19. Because we're dedicated to keeping our strippers healthy and limber… 20. Because our gynecologists are building a better speculum… 21. Because our airport keeps getting more awesome… 22. …and so does Movie Madness… 23. Because we're making Halloweens more inclusive… 24. Because the city's most daring developer is growing strawberry fields in the sky… 25. Because we're bringing the pay phone back, minus the "pay" part… 26. Because you can turn on the TV and see your neighbor compete in an eating contest against a bear… 27. Because hardcore foosball players finally have a home… 28. Because we're home to the largest astrology school in the United States… 29. Because this is the best place in the country to be a witch… 30. Because we believe no kitty should be left behind… 31. Because the barred owls are taking over… 32. Because the best Trail Blazer in history is playing in front of us…
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