12500 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-253-8893, woodenchickenpub.com. 10 am-2 am daily. Happy hour 4:30-6:30 pm daily: $3 drink and food specials.
Out in deep Northeast Portland, where foot traffic is scarce and car traffic is fast, signage matters. The Wooden Chicken has a good one: a cocky-looking cartoon, um, cock, filling up a pint glass like a bartender cousin of Glen Campbell's rock 'n' roll rooster from 1991's Rock-a-Doodle. He adorns a whole shelf of merchandise, too, and his stained-glass portrait overlooks the bar. Other than that bit of branding—and the thousands-strong collection of tap handles screwed into the walls as decoration—this is a tried-and-true sports pub right down to the copious Budweiser schwag. The bar's all hardwood, brick and carpet, with multiple televisions and a sprawling layout tiled with pool tables. During football season, it's a de facto 49ers bar, and even when there's nothing on but pro golf, the NASCAR dads of Parkrose still pack the pool room and video-poker machines. It's not hard to see why, especially during happy hour, when domestic pitchers go for $7.50. And the food is decent, too. Your impulse is to get the fried chicken, but it's a tad dry. Go with the fish 'n' chips instead.
Bar story: On a previous WW visit, a bartender revealed that one middle-aged regular gifts the bar with nearly naked photos of himself every Christmas.